Isn't it Grand?

"Marchez dans la merde!" 
"Walk in the shit!"
"You IDIOT--if you don't want to fall, walk on the big green mule poop."

This is the sort of conversation you hear--and participate in--when you go to the Grand Canyon in the winter. While it's unquestionably one of the most magnificent sights I've ever seen, the Grand Canyon certainly posed as an obstacle to all of us early-morning canyon-hikers. Because, you see, the entire Northern face of the Grand Canyon is covered in ice and snow.
Naturally, we didn't let the ice stop us from getting part of the way down the cliff face into the canyon! We slipped, hiked, skidded, screamed, tumbled, and stumbled our graceful way down into one of the most serene topographical landmarks of the world--and in style, too. My parents, inspired by my grandfather's fashion epiphany, had purchased extremely warm and comfy long coats to wear in the snow, and so we went in a matching line of tourists down into the coldest part of Arizona.
Observant as we are, we quickly realized that the mule poop--backpackers and super-advanced hikers often take mule teams with them into the canyon if they plan to hike for a long time--provided excellent traction. Thus, the wisdom was shared in many dialects: don't step on the ice, idiot! Step on the poop!
I apologize if this is vulgar or disgusting to you, but in reality, if Americans, Australians, Chinese, Japanese, French, Spanish, Argentineans, Britons, and Saudi Arabians (yes, I can go on and on in this list) can all agree on the same thing, then it must be worth repeating. At the top of this post, I attempted to rewrite what some of the French were muttering amongst themselves as they slid and shuffled past us down the cliff side (though my French is definitely in the rough so it's probably terribly incorrect).
As the ice was unremarkably white, it was quite easy to make out the green mule waste that somehow covered 85% of the entire trail (just, however, the snowy part--convenient, right?). The waste was avoidable, but the sad truth was that it was simply, for once, more prudent to suck it up and walk in the shit. So we did, and boy do I remember it.
I remember it so well because one time I stepped next to it, not on it (in an inconsequential attempt to save my shoes) and then fell right on top of it. And then I slid.
People exclaimed in at least three languages, and tried to help me, but I couldn't tolerate anyone actually wanting to pull my sleeve and help me up when it was covered in, well, stuff. I eventually clambered up and we all continued down the cliff face, but more people soon followed!
In fact, it is testimony to my spectacular trend-setting ability that soon nine other people fell down in the exact spot that I did, which did make it slightly less embarrassing.
When the French people encountered the more difficult part of the trail, it was quite amusing to watch and listen. "La merde, la merde!"they screamed (merde=shit in French). Of course, they were completely gorgeous--the two guys could have been models for North Face or something, and the girl looked flawless as well--and were proceeding into the Canyon at a Grand 1 mile per hour. But it was okay, because they spoke French and then, in their amazing beautiful shoes, tippy-toed into the mule shit.
Safe to say, I will never forget the Grand Canyon.
The view we were hiking to was beautiful, and by the time we were halfway to it, it was warm enough for me to take off my coat of shame and remove my now-nasty gloves. I must thank my mother for having the guts to clean off our coats and make them safe-to-wear again!
It seems that nature has a bit of an acerbic sense of humor. The day before, I remarked to my cousin as we were hiking a different part of the canyon that I knew I'd probably fall and that it would be fine--as long as I didn't fall in the mule crap. Well, what'd'ya know? Fall in it I did (and he didn't :P ).
In case you are wondering, the Grand Canyon was beautiful, and took my breath away with its vastness (and its ability to make you fall down in mule poop). And it is safe to visit when it's snowy outside--just wear clamp-ons!

(: It truly was a grand sight in a very grand canyon. :)

THE CULPRIT!

And just think, this little guy caused it all!

‘Is There an App for That?’ Oh, you mean ‘is there a mint for that?’

About a year ago, the fad was to say “Is there an app for that?” to which, invariably, Apple would provide an affirmative answer. And, as we all know (and can probably attest to when we look at how many purchases of $.99 have added up over the years), there is an app for nearly everything, from determining the tension in a rope to discerning hazy constellations and launching choleric birds at structures of wood-guarded piggies (or that sophisticated puzzle we refer to as Angry Birds).  But the point here is that we have apps for everything. However, while this is common knowledge, it is not common knowledge that the trend toward having a product for everything is spreading beyond the digital realm.

I recently discovered (two hours ago, to be exact—aren’t you proud of me for telling you so soon?) a brand of mints that addresses all sorts of aches and complaints. Historical Remedies has a line of Homeopathic Medicines that has six types of mints to give you a little extra boost, no matter what your issue is. There are:

Stress Mints—for Stress Relief, Moon Drops—for Sleep Aid, Calm Drops—for Emotional Care, Pick Up Drops—For Energy (“pick up” not “pick-up” as in pick-up lines), Passion Drops—for PMS Relief, and Arnica Drops—for Muscle Pain and Ache Relief.

            I have yet to try these mints, but I can promise you that by trying them, you will witness an awesome concept, awesome packaging, and an awesome new blooming trend that we are sure to see in supermarkets soon. I shall report back as soon as I try the mints for myself to let you know if they own up to craze and fame!

             In the meantime, here’s the link: http://www.historicalremedies.com/lozenges

And here are some pictures for you!

                       

Hurry up to be TOO LATE!!!

 "I don't always wear watches, but when I do, I wear cool ones."
           ---Yes, I said this, I am the most interesting watch-wearer in the world.
I love cool watches; not only were they the product that helped me learn the advantages of always knowing the time, but they've also given me a more unique sense of style. And, as this is especially true of water-proof watches, since you often don't end up taking them off, they tend to stay with you until you're bored of them! The above picture is a limited edition collection of TOO LATE watches, an awesome watch brand we discovered in Paia, a surf town on Maui. Finding these in a surf town means three things: the watches are "chill, dude!", they haven't been 100% commercialized yet, and they are waterproof!! It came as an extra bonus that they have awesome cases (little glass bottles with a chic label and great shape that you can reuse for countless things). Of course, the most important thing is that they come in the best colors. We purchased about five watches at that store--one for dad, one for mom, one for me, and two extras for anyone. And, if you're curious, I'm still wearing mine now as I speak (or, I suppose type), almost a year exactly since we bought it in Maui last year. Mine is the one furthest to the left, with the girl's face outlined in pink and black over a yellow band.
There are only about a billion colors for you to choose from so I won't pardon you if you claim you can't find "your color" from this selection, but I will warn you that the watches are for the most part very bright, cheery, and great conversation starters! Also, as my watch has survived a surfing lesson, innumerable showers (aren't you glad?), and half of junior year, I have viable proof that it's durable, waterproof, and virtually unbreakable. 

As we are now in Mexico, we went shopping last night and what did we find? A watch stall! As only the second vendor we'd ever met who was selling TOO LATE watches, we became very excited and came away with a new watch for mom! She got the pink one on the top left of this picture, and it is one of the most original, interesting watches I've ever seen. The entire band is a sort of brick/chain-mail pattern of rectangles, and the only thing that distinguishes the traditionally called "clockface" of the watch is a small button on the side that, when pressed, digitally lights up the time with lights that shine through the rectangular pattern. 
All of their watches are super fun, and they even make plastic belts and wallets as well. 
So if you're looking for a watch for someone who either
1. Likes to surf
2. Likes to know the time
3. Likes colors
4. Is looking for something FUN
then check out TOO LATE watches--before it's TOO LATE and everyone has them!

Le Tasting Menu du Jour

Le Tasting Menu du Jour

            I always love samples, whether they’re beauty products, food, or even demos on my Kindle. Each sample is like a teaser of the real thing, and—of course, as a marketing strategy—gives you a good sense of the product and leaves you wanting more!

Here are a few samples that are specially selected for you from the books we’ve read in True Believers this year. Enjoy!

The Appetizer*

 (The fastest, wittiest, most minimalist French-crafted prose)…………..Candide, Voltaire

She quite innocently took his hand, he as innocently kissed hers with singular grace and ardour. Their lips met, their eyes flashed, their knees trembled, and their hands would not keep still. Baron Thunder-ten-tronckh, happening to pass the screen at that moment, noticed both cause and effect, and drove Candide from the house with powerful kicks on the backside. Cunégonde fainted, and on recovering her senses was boxed on the ears by the Baroness. (21)

The Main Course

(Classic American detective story, with all the more credit for not having a traditionally “American” happy ending)…....………………………The Big Sleep, Raymond Chandler

He reached for another of my cigarettes, placed it neatly between his lips and lit it with a match the way I do myself, missing twice on his thumbnail and then using his foot. He puffed evenly and stared at me level-eyed, a funny little hard guy I could have thrown from home place to second base. A small man in a big man’s world. There was something I liked about him. (168)

The Sophisticated Dessert

(An allusion-filled and metaphor-stuffed experience of flowery words, bawdy insults, and the general spitefulness of royal politics)…………………Henry IV Part I, Shakespeare

If to be fat be to be hated, then Pharaoh’s lean kine are to be loved.

 (II.IV, 457-458)

OR

Ill-weaved ambition, how much art thou shrunk!

When that this body did contain a spirit,

A kingdom for it was too small a bound;

But now two paces of the vilest earth

Is room enough. (V.IV, 87-91)

* Candide : The predominant philosophy here is that of Pangloss: “This is the best of all possible worlds”. While the man becomes a living paradox—in this “best of all possible worlds,” he soon finds himself without an eye, an ear, many teeth, his health, and his home—he is also a beacon of hope, for if this man can adhere to his beliefs through his chance-driven life, then certainly anyone with a less traumatic existence can hope to do so as well! 

Finals!

I have just finished finals! For my English class, True Believers, this was the first time that I've ever written a seminar paper instead of taking a test. We were encouraged to be creative and write in an original way and to have fun with our English paper--can you imagine a better assignment?! So, I decided to write about the wonderful books that we have read this year--Candide, The Big Sleep, and Henry IV: Part One --in the format of blog posts. It made for a very fun project and an interesting combination of resulting pieces of writing. I am so grateful that my teacher didn't freak out when I told him exactly what I intended to do!

 I am telling you this because I would like to post some of the pieces of my final on my blog, to see what you think of them. I've never written a blog post that is analyzing literature before, just as I'd never written an English essay that was addressed to people outside the world of academia!

When you read the next posts (you'll know they're part of my final because they will be referencing books and quoting), please do comment in the comment space below. I would love to hear what you all think of them! I bet my teacher would be curious as well. :)  So, after you finish with these posts, please let me know--either by comment, phone, email, etc.--what you think of these "hybrid" blog posts!

I am in Love...

This is a confession to all my fellow chocolate-lovers: I love chocolate. I love it, love it, love it, and there's nothing you can do to stop me!
Do you ever have that terrible moment around 8:30 at night when you're taken by surprise by a chocolate craving and simply must find something that's chocolate? If so, you should be proud, for it means that you are a true, devout chocolate lover like myself. I have those moments often enough, and I've had an ample amount of them to know how truly tragic it is when you tear through the drawers, cabinets, and the pantry in the kitchen in a futile attempt to find anything remotely related to chocolate (I once had to settle for a chocolate covered coffee bean which, aside from being an experience unto itself (I do not do not do not ever drink coffee because it's gross), made my problem worse: I now like chocolate covered coffee beans as well :(    ). I shall, in a moment, reveal to you the chocolate lover's three deepest secrets to satisfy those chocolate cravings!

 Secret One (only read if you like chocolate):

if you want to try an interesting flavor

Chocolove <3 <3
As they brag on their site, Chocolove has "18 decadent flavors," as well as organic bars and great packaging. Among these flavors--of which I challenge you to try 3 in the next few months--the Almonds in Sea-salt is my favorite. I've also enjoyed the Toffee and Almonds and Cherries and Dark Chocolate. We buy them at Whole Foods, but you can also visit their website and pick your favorite flavors here!
http://www.chocolove.com/10greatbars.htm



Secret Two (only if you love chocolate):
the way to have chocolate without feeling guilty and undisciplined
Ghirardelli 

Two words: Ghirardelli, and Costco.
Costco is amazing, and that is common knowledge. It is not, however, common knowledge that Costco has an excellent taste in chocolate chips. They alternate between the Ghirardelli cacao chocolate chips and the Nestle chocolate chips, which is, admittedly, quite annoying. But here is my challenge to you: prove that you have the skill to go to Costco when they're carrying Ghirardelli chocolate chips, and find them in the store. If you can do both of these things, then you deserve every morsel you get! Chocolate chips are great because they are delicious, small, and have an excellent track record for actually lasting much longer than bars of chocolate because we eat them much slower and--in my case--feel guilty about being "the one" to finish the bag of chocolate chips.
These chocolate chips are my favorite kind, and I cannot begin to list all the recipes I've used them in and all the fruit I've dipped into them once they're melted!

Secret Three (only if you all love chocolate)
Scharfenberger chocolate squares

These squares are perfect for a chocolate-loving family because they come in combos! They can be purchased in cool bags where dark, bittersweet, and milk chocolate (for example) are mixed into the bag. This is perfect for my family; my dad likes milk chocolate, my mom likes dark chocolate, and I prefer their bittersweet (somewhere in between, if you're curious). The end result? Three happy people, a trash can with its faire share of colorful wrappers, and no waste! So if you're into chocolate that's not outrageously sweet and comes in the perfect small quantities, check out Scharfenberger chocolates ASAP!

I do feel slightly apprehensive about sharing these secrets. But just make it count by trying whichever suits your fancy and commenting about what you like!

The Blague Blog

<<Tu blagues!>>
<Non, non, c'est vrai! Je ne blague pas! J'ai un 'blog'!>>
<<Est-ce que tu promets que tu ne blagues pas?>>
<<Oui! Seulement, j'ai un blog--sans blaguer.>>
OR
"You're kidding me!"
"No, no, it's true! I'm not jesting! I have a blog!"
"Do you promise that you're not joking again?"
"Yes! I only have a blog--no joke."

You might be wondering why I wrote this imagined dialogue, but if you speak French (or, yes, don't be ashamed... if you used to speak French), you'll know what I'm talking about. The verb blaguer--to jest, tease, or joke-- haha or in my version of French, to blog-- sounds just like the English word for a "blog".
I was sitting in French this week, when suddenly it hit me: what if I were to explain to someone in France that I have a blog??? Would they think I was telling them that I have a joke, or that I'm trying to flirt with them by teasing? Since this would be such a humiliating situation, I decided to think through exactly how this awkward convo would go, and the above dialogue is what I came up with.
And, dear reader, you are not to worry--I never lie or jest to you, although I do sometimes joke..... I hope that you understand my humor and sarcasm better than I understand my history teacher's sense of humor (hey! I'm working on it, guys)....
Anyways, this should serve as your French lesson for the day. Blaguer does not mean "to blog"; it means "to tease or kid around". And, if you so happen upon a French-speaker, perhaps you can find a better way to explain to them that a blog isn't merely a collection of jests--or at least that this one isn't!

GAGA’S WORKSHOP

Gaga’s workshop

attention all monsters, music-lovers, and creative popculture protegees: lady gaga has hit the big apple. And she’s here for one season and one season only.

Barney’s New York is doing a holiday season special collaboration with Lady Gaga to create an extravaganza extraordinaire: Gaga’s Workshop. It’s pure logic and creative genius to merge Barney’s iconic fashion store with rule breaking fashion icon, Lady Gaga, and the final product is fantastic. Gaga’s Workshop is an “unprecedented project” by Barney’s and 25% of all profits will go to the Born This Way Foundation, by Lady Gaga.

       Get ready to put your paws together for the two if you want to hear more! Not only is Gaga’s Workshop a creative masterpiece, but Lady Gaga has worked with designers to create special products, prizes, and collections just for the lucky visitors both to the website and the store in NYC! I mentioned in an earlier blog post about mascara that Lady Gaga’s cosmetics line for this event is not only glamorous but healthy—and it’s imperative that you know that the rest of her products and clothes are equally impressive. Available products range from $225 Press-On rocker Nails to a $95 chocolate Gaga-licious shoe! The craziness and creativity are endless, and for any Gaga fan or style devotee, visiting this site is 100% necessary! I refuse to spoil the entire surprise, but it’s simply impossible to end this post without telling you more!

       “Working the Gaga experience,” as I shall call it, snatches your attention from the first instant. The website is literally the most creative format I’ve ever seen on the internet; if you’re afraid of special effects and novel graphic design, don’t bother checking it, but if you’re reading for a design surprise, check it out! Gaga’s Workshop at Barney’s New York also has the right packaging to make you want to buy more. The theme seems to be Lady Gaga-meets-Barneys New York-meets-the holiday season- meets cruella d’evil! The bags are artsy, pops out at you, and are unquestionably original.

       As the site will inform you, there are 12 Days of Gaga (for anyone who wasn’t aware :P) and there are 12 Limited Time Collection pieces that are definitely worth your interest. My favorite is the BORN THIS WAY PLAYBUTTON. It’s a pin-on button that has the Gaga graphic on the front and plays 22 tracks from Gaga’s special edition Born This Way album. I adore it!

       Here’s the website link, and feel free to check it out!

And, not to worry. If you don’t live in NYC, a few other Barneys’ throughout the country are featuring products from Gaga’s Workshop, and you can purchase and browse on the Barneys website as well!

       Don’t let the holiday season get you stressed! Have fun with Gaga’s Workshop, Barneys New York, and you might even find the perfect holiday gift!                               

One of the Gaga's Workshop bags

The Grand Entrance!

http://gagasworkshop.com/#welcome

iPick, my Pick!

      Growing up in the iPhone era, I've grown accustomed to assuming that everything that starts with an "i" is a product of Apple.  While this is mostly true, there are some definite exceptions to the rule.... achem, International House of Pancakes, anyone? And though I know that you're dying to assume that iPic theaters are, in fact, another program offered by Apple to make you feel like you're behind in the daily technology, it's my honor to inform you that it's not. In fact, iPic will never make you feel behind again!
      In Arizona this Thanksgiving weekend, some family members and I discovered a hot new type of movie theater--iPic Theaters. iPic prides itself on being a luxury movie theater, and believe me, it has all the qualities of one!
      We entered the theater--after ascending an extremely long escalator-- into a room that's dark with music booming. It's more like a fancy hotel lobby than a ticket counter, with modern lights brightening the dimness and a holiday display set out on the hard wood and marble floors. We "checked in" and then made our way around the ticket counter, passing a formal restaurant, the fanciest popcorn-purchasing set-up I've ever seen, a fully equipped and manned bar, and a small nightclub. Passing by portraits of Hollywood movie stars through the decades, my aunt, cousin, and I finally reached the Breaking Dawn theater, our destination. (I'll skip talking about how I saw an awesome Hunger Games advertisement and how Breaking Dawn is unquestionably the best Twilight movie so far...)
      The seats are soft, large, and comfy--more like small couches than any movie theater seat I've been in! There are also Premium-Plus seats which recline and come complete with full service and a sort of wine vending machine....
       The bathrooms are also worth mentioning. Not only are the stalls huge, but the sinks and floor are so nice that I actually felt uncomfortable going to the movies in jeans and a sweater with a big heart on it! In fact, everyone there was dressed up. As we left the theater, I observed a typical iPick-goer: a girl with well-tended black hair, carefully waved in a half up-do, wearing a creamy-pink silk corset-like shirt, in an extremely short black skirt, with high black pumps and more than a few dollars spent on jewelry. And she looked perfectly in place at this theater!
      The message of the story:
1. Don't look like a dump when you go to the movies
2. Going to the movies is cool--especially when they make it a bar-nightclub-movie mix!
3. You have to go check this out.
4. If you check out this website and find yourself suddenly devoted to iPick even though we don't have one YET in Denver, contact the company! If enough of us request it, perhaps we'll get our Pick (haha pun intended) of theaters to come!

"Check-in"

I believe I forgot to mention the lighting displays. Here they are!


 Check out http://www.ipictheaters.com/ for more details

Martina Navratilova!

There are few people who can be globally lauded as a champion, classic, advocate, and role model. Martina Navratilova is such a woman; she is a brave, outspoken role model and is arguably the greatest tennis player of all time, with an impressive 18 Grand Slams singles titles under her belt and three of the six longest winning streaks in tennis history. And not only is she an amazing athlete—she’s also an excellent speaker! Martina is a world-famous advocate for the empowerment of women and for her encouragement to women everywhere to create their futures. Martina’s athletic prowess and role as an advocate made her a hero of our parents’ generation, and now, with her excellent speaking skills, she is speaking to thousands of people about two of her fundamental values: the freedom to create your own identity and empowerment of women. Early in November of this year, she came to speak at a luncheon for the Women’s Foundation of Colorado, which I was able to attend with my mother and my tennis coach, who’d gone on the pro circuit with Martina when they were younger.

In addition to the 2,000 guests—mostly women—at the luncheon, Governor Hickenlooper warmly commemorated Martina and then turned over the mic so we could hear her words of wisdom, motivation, and pride. Martina spoke for just over an hour, and shared with us her beginnings in the Czech Republic, her dream to be a tennis champion, and the strength she gained—both to become one of the finest athletes in the world and to live openly and freely as her truest self.

Martina is one of the best speakers I have ever heard. Not only is she articulate and sincere, but she speaks and acts for something that she believes in, and she believes in this message so much that she risked her career, her image, and even the love of her father because she knew that it could be worth it one day. Martina is, in the truest sense of the word, an advocate for self-ownership, identity, and passion. Her pursuit of these goals led her to make many choices that others would consider fatal to her career and lifestyle—but in the end they led her to happiness and an identity greater than any previous sports enthusiast had ever embodied: an advocate who lives what she preaches.

Martina does things her own way, no matter what life throws at her. When she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2010, Martina refused to let the disease control her life. ‘I wanted to go to Paris,’ she said, to commentate for the French Open. ‘So I did my radiation in Paris! It was an international treatment; I wasn’t going to let it keep me from doing what I most wanted to do’. While her diagnosis was one of the scariest events of her life, Martina also recognized the strength that her philosophy holds, even in the direst of circumstances. Martina’s belief that “there are many forces strong enough to change our destiny, but only if we let it” has pulled her through a life of challenge, willpower, and finally success.

Her belief that “the human spirit thrives on being authentic” has also shaped her every move; it gave her the courage to be openly gay, it gave her the motivation to leave an oppressive country, and it inspired her to, in turn, inspire others by being an advocate and mentor to women and girls around the world. Martina has been loathe to hand the controls of her life over to any power except herself since childhood, and her sense of empowerment was never just remarkable; it is transformative. As a tennis success story, one expects that she knows how to plan for a goal and how to achieve it, and Martina does not disappoint! She has embedded her work ethic and beliefs into her daily life, and encourages others to do the same. If you have a goal, she believes, you should let nothing prohibit you from getting to it.

She provided a four-step plan for anyone who wants to be successful:

1.          1.Stay positive

2.           2. Find your passion; if you truly care about what you’re doing, you will always do it better.

3.          3.  Have a great attitude

4.            4. Recognize your gifts

These techniques worked for a woman who became a champion against political, social, and athletic opposition; they worked for a woman who embraced who she was and showed people to love her, even after an initially horrific and hateful reaction; they worked for one person in our world who faced a lot of the same pressures, dilemmas, and choices that we face. In light of this truth, it might even work for you.

Martina had one last message that speaks to our ability to transform our lives and ourselves no matter what: we can change anything within our control that we want to change. And our thoughts are within our control. If you do not like something, she recommends, change it (not so tricky, right?)! If you have a negative thought, make it into a positive one. “If you don’t like your address, move! You’re not a tree!”

Martina faced a wonderful world that had some not-so-wonderful aversions to who she wanted to be, but that wasn’t strong enough to choose her life. Martina picked who she would be—to herself and to the world—so that she would know her future, and choose it. As she said, “the best way to know your future is to create it”.

MASCARA

The newest object of my adoration is the lights, camera, lashes! mascara by tarte™. This mascara is revolutionary not only because, as proclaimed by the label, it “increases lash volume by 424%,” but because it is an eco-friendly mascara. This mascara is as green as they come with our current production technologies that can be made; and as green as it is, it simply turns your lashes longer and darker! When you purchase this mascara, let me be the first to warn you: its wand is not lengthily bristled and the bristles aren’t carefully spread out to “grab each eyelash individually”. I did have a little bit of a freak out when I saw this, but not to worry! Their wand approach is as new as their green beauty products idea, and they are both successful.

This mascara is natural mascara, and clinically proven to be effective and safe for your body. While the list of qualities it does have are quite admirable—it lengthens, emphasizes, darkens, and is au naturel—its résumé of things it lacks is even more impressive. This is an excerpt from the box:

Formulated without: parabens  *  mineral oil  *  petrolatum  *  phthalates  *  sodium lauryl sulfate  *  synthetic fragrance

There’s also an adorable little doodle of bunny ears that’s captioned with a “cruelty free” promise. So now you can see for yourself that tarte’s new mascara isn’t just an awesome, fun type of eco-friendly and animal-friendly mascara, it’s also a successful pioneer in a new race of cosmetics: cosmetics that make you feel prettier, perform as advertised, protect your body from harmful and corruptive substances/ chemicals, and refrains from harming animals and our environment. Wearing this mascara is not just a fashion statement; if you wear this mascara, you are telling people that you care about animal cruelty, your role in protecting our world, and finding a way to do what you want without causing harm to others. Tarte’s new mascara doesn’t just make your eyes pop and lengthen those lashes; it reflects that you’re beautiful inside, too!

While tarte is doing the best job advertising their new strategy and collections (there's a rumor going around that they're launching an entire green line soon!!!), they aren’t the only ones making products that beautify you and amend to the world at the same time. Others are following their lead—and it’s about time! For example, Lady Gaga teamed up with Barney’s in Madison Square and top fashion designers to design Gaga’s Workshop, a holiday-time special in Barney’s that features special and limited-edition Gaga designed and inspired cosmetics, crafts, clothes, and accessories. In her beauty products, she has an “Extreme Sheen Lip Kit” of three (rather pricey) lip-glosses that are, of course, in excellent colors. Aside from the typical alibi of making your lips shiny and glossy (no duh), the description also includes this: “no parabens, no sulfates, no phthalates”. Lady Gaga’s in on the trend, too, and we all know that she’s nothing if not a trend setting fashion statement (if you have the nerve not to believe me, check out her houndstooth outfit she wore for a TV interview—it’s all over the place, now!). Lady Gaga has a very similar mission with these lip-glosses as tarte: to make you prettier by accentuating your lips, and to make you feel prettier by helping the planet. Lady Gaga believes in her little monsters, but she doesn’t believe we should be monsters to the Earth and to our bodies. Tarte also knows that there are innumerable ways to make good green cosmetics that are effective, and that’s why you should try this new mascara.

So go ahead! Be a green, clean, beauty queen!

With a case like this, who wouldn't follow your fashion lead?

Eyebrows: A Cautionary Tale

I consider myself extremely understanding in accepting new fashion trends. Even if the trend is totally different than anything I’ve ever seen before, or if it’s not exactly commonly worn, I am usually a very good audience member for a new trend. However, the newest W Magazine exhibits a fashion trend that I simply cannot tolerate: THE EYEBROWS. The Neiman Marcus advertisements in this magazine are completely ridiculous; not only is the jewelry not my favorite, but the eyebrows are distracting and definitely not attractive. And, to add to my fears of the terrible eyebrows, once I saw these pictures, every other model in the magazine seemed to have furry ones as well!

            If this trend is to establish itself—which, due to basic fashion-Darwinism, it shouldn’t—I must proclaim a forthcoming doom of all shapely, clean, neat, and sophisticated eyebrows.

            It will be, in a sense, the invasion of the eyebrows. The shaggy, furry, messy, upswept eyebrows. I shall do you the liberty of not adding a picture of said eyebrows, but I shall paint their accuracy to you in words, so that we all understand the danger and threat to good fashion that this trend poses! While this trend could be convenient for people like me, who have full eyebrows that, according to a make-up artist, should occasionally be brushed to keep them looking their best (brushing eyebrows! There are no limits…), it’s also unforgivably sloppy. While the models who were in the adds obviously had perfectly trimmed, waxed, and shaped eyebrows, each brow was carefully slung upward so that scraggly, uneven, and clumpy lines redefined the top of each brow. In all honesty I’m sure it must have been quite uncomfortable!

            I understand that this eyebrow binge is probably a reaction to the trend of perfectly manicured brows that’s been growing for years, but honestly, I think it’s a terrible trend (and not only because it’s the antithesis of eyebrow styles of the past few decades). Please, spare yourselves the eyebrow pain that harassing your eyebrows like this will give you! And spare me the pain of seeing it!

Yummy... When Dessert's Healthy!

Don't you love it when you find something that delicious and healthy at the same time? If you answered 'yes', then I have the dessert for you! Recently, my mom and I discovered the perfect tasty treat that, remarkably, doesn't leave you feeling guilty at all about enjoying it. It is, in short, a healthy banana split.
Want to know the secret? Read closely!

Your Arsenal:
Two Bananas
A Lot of Chocolate Chips
Almonds
Milk
Sticks

Your Plan of Attack:
Chop up some almonds and then put them in foil and toast them in a toaster oven.
Cut the bananas in halves, or leave them whole and poke them with sticks.
Melt the chocolate chips on the stove, and thin it out by adding some milk.
Dip the bananas in the chocolate, and while they're still wet, roll them in the chopped nuts.
Freeze and enjoy a few hours later!

The Time Allotted You to Complete This Task:
Twenty minutes to prepare it.
Three or so hours to freeze it.
Ten minutes to eat it!

Enjoy!

(A sneak peek picture)

Dear Diary, of Cleaning

The Diary of the Lady Who Cleans Your Hotel Room When You Are Not There

Dear Diary,

      Today I cleaned many hotel rooms. I love my job so very much, because it gives me the right to snoop around peoples' things, rummage through toiletry kits, and touch things. The best thing about my job, aside from the chocolates I carry around in my cart and the shampoos, is that I can rearrange absolutely everything--and even sometimes get tipped for it. I don't know if I just like to be super organized and a control freak when people can't argue with me, but I simply love straightening rooms. Today, I went into Jordan's hotel room and took the liberty of rearranging her toothbrush for her! I'm certain that she appreciates that I combed every bristle of the toothbrush with my dirty fingers, and that I tipped her contact case the wrong way and folded the toilet paper so nicely that she feels guilty ripping it off. I was also so polite as to carefully place her dirty tennis clothes, which she'd left in a tidy heap on the floor, on top of her even-more-dirty suitcase, with her intimate apparel meticulously spread out on top of the entire display. I can only imagine--being shocked at it, of course--her horror at the arrangement of her clothing, upon a traveler's pedestal in the center of the room. I also have a fascination with the contents of peoples’ toiletry bags. Today, I removed all the contents of Jordan’s mother’s toiletry bag and vigilantly put each item upon a white washcloth, so that she might thank me for arranging her toilette in such an original way; I put her tooth brush side-by-side with her hairbrush (I always love it when the bristles are on top of each other—it’s so much more sanitary!), I put her lotion samples upside down so they’d only leak a little bit, I hid her make-up brushes behind the Kleenex box, I stowed her lipsticks beside the toothpaste and shampoo bottle, and I successfully covered the entire counter until it looked like a cornucopia of beauty and skin products. Of course, I didn’t stop there—I would never! I proceeded to bury all of Jordan’s schoolwork beneath the crappy local newspaper, and I left a thoughtful generic note of “do you really want to feel like a tree-murderer and environment-slayer? You shouldn’t be such a wasteful, slimeballing pig who requires their towels to be exchanged—at the expense of drinking water for the rare Coloradan River blond-hare—a whopping two times a week. Also, if your selfish consumer self would think for once of this hotel and the money we would save by only washing your towels once a week, you wouldn’t mind this note at all… Hope you enjoy your stay here with us!”

Sincerely,

The Lady Who Comes To Your Room Twenty Minutes After You Call Housekeeping

Footloose Feet!

Footloose Feet!

Footloose!

Loose, cut loose, everybody cut footloose...
For anyone who likes to cut loose every once in a while, or who enjoys smiling, friends, or dancing, I bear excellent news: There is now a pair of Footloose movies! In the original Footloose, stars Kevin Bacon and Lori Singer dance it up in the small town of Bomont with Sarah Jessica Parker as a supporting actress (no, it wasn't that long ago); in the remake, Kenny Wormald and Julianne Hough--both excellent (and previously professional) dancers-- take on the new responsibility of legalizing public dancing for the town. And the best news? Even for a remake, both Footlooses are good! 
The new one stays remarkably consistent with the original story, with the same characters, names, and plot; all that's new are the clothes and the people. 
Footloose the New (as I shall call it) snatches your attention from the first moment. It's a teaser, really. The first few minutes of the movie show, in (approximate) statistics:
People: 15
Arms: 2
Faces: 0
Feet: 30
The movie intros at a party that took place three years before the Footloose main storyline starts--and does it all with feet. Footage of dancing is taken from the knees down for at least 15 different dancers--all in different shoes, boots, sneakers, jeans, jean shorts, skirts, cow boy attire, etc.... From a fashion point of view, it's a great way to kick off the movie, show some cute country styles, and get the viewer interested, because those feet know how to move!!!! It's incredible how quickly, perfectly, precisely, and seemingly effortlessly the dancers move their feet, tap their toes, click their heels, get it moving! 
Footloose the New has an extremely talented cast of excellent dancers, a good wardrobe department, energetic music, creative cotton mill renovations, and a good message to all: Go Footloose and Dance!
I definitely recommend both the original Footloose and the new one. And if you don't care for them particularly, I can still assure you that they will inspire you to dance.

The Perfect Parking Job

It's amazing how happy little things can make us. Big things can make us happy, too, but the little things--as I mentioned in my post The Pink Poodle-- can make us happy as well. It's important that we don't forget all the little ways and little things that make us happy--not only are they easier than the big things, but they're simply more fun, as well! Plus, they usually don't take much effort (Key word: usually).
The other day I discovered a new such little thing. I got my license in September, and parking has been...well...interesting. However, something amazing happened! I parked PERFECTLY!!! It was so exciting I took a picture, and made my friends look at it, and texted it to my parents.... Yes, you get the picture; it was a very big, very exciting, very happy event! And it reminded me of something very important: even if you go to a dance or a party or some long-planned event or elite social and have fun there, almost nothing can compare to the feeling of spontaneously doing something just right. You can't plan something to be perfect, just as I can't park perfectly on demand (or nearly ever, really). But when it goes just perfectly (when you're with friends and just have the time of your life without even doing anything--we've all had that moment) without planning, motive, or stress, it's one of the most wonderful things in the world.
Maybe I'm just being dramatic because I'm still super-excited about driving and having a car--Who knows?! But I do know that it's true, and that even if I'm reacting out of some innate aspiration to be a perfect driver, parking perfectly that one time was the best thing that could have happened at that moment. And it never hurts to be reminded of the amazing things that happen by accident.
After all, I believe it is well debated if good things always happen on purpose (no, don't feel guilty :P ).

Sleeping Beauty, Minus the... Sleep? YES!

            One of the charms of being a teenager, anyone who has a job, a mother, or anyone else is that we get to be tired much more frequently than we would otherwise! While we regard this as inevitable—and, often, the product of liberating personal choice (yes, I shall stay up until three in the morning to do homework and Facebook because I CAN)—looking like you’re a regretful member of the walking dead in the morning isn’t. Nothing’s going to steal back those six hours of sacrificed sleep, but there are plenty of tricks for looking like you got your personally prescribed amount of beauty sleep. And, hey! Don’t worry about it so much—it’ll just keep you up later, and then you’ll get even fewer zzz’s!

Make-up:

There are approximately a billion make-up tips to make you look awake. And as I’ve learned, many of them work—and some don’t. I learned that last year, when every day my friend came to school exhausted from a less restful night than anticipated, I proceeded to tell her—in what I truly thought was a kind manner—that she looked “so tired!” One day, she worked up the nerve—or, shall I say, the annoyance—to explain to me that it didn’t exactly help when I told her how tired she looked every day. So, if you aren’t interested in having that problem, some advice:

Find an eyeshadow color that is similar to your skin tone (the closer the match, the better) with a golden hue to it. This way, even if you’re dead tired, your eyes look brighter, shinier, and have a healthy, smooth, and upbeat look to them—without looking like you put any major make-up on! My favorite kind of eyeshadow that has a gold tint to use is a cream eyeshadow that can be applied in a light layer with your finger. 

Also, focus on skin. Aside from the notorious dark circles that start cropping up a month or so from now, be sure to devote attention to each part of your face that seems as sleepy as you feel. For example, I have a Laura Mercier toned moisturizer that I adore—it has SPF 20, comes in my skin tone (it’s not even the #1 fairest color—it’s #2!), and moisturizes. It’s like a triple-treat. So, apply your toned moisturizer to your dark circles, your T-zone, and any other areas that need a little perk up. But don’t mask up your whole face! For instance, it is okay to leave your chin and cheeks relatively un-toned! 

Then, if you would like, apply a bit of blush highlighting powder to over your eyebrows, over the bridge of your nose, and your cheekbones. Apply some NONCLUMPING mascara—not super heavily, but enough to make your eyelashes thicker and darker—and voila! An awakened face!

Here's a Yves St. Laurent golden cream eyeshadow--see? They exist!

 

Energy:

I’m not a big fan of coffee, but I do know my teas! Among the many, one of my favorites for waking me up in the morning when I have a double class period of my least favorite class is Teavana’s White Ayurvedic Chai and Samurai Chai Mate mix. It’s delicious, smells very good, and wakes me up! I definitely recommend it!

Music:

When you’re trying so hard to wake up, good music always helps. Some personal favorites:

By Katy Perry: Last Friday Night, Hummingbird Heartbeat

By Lady Gaga: Bad Romance, Boys Boys Boys

From Wicked: Defying Gravity, One Short Day

From A Good Year: Gotta Get Up

From Slumdog Millionaire: Jai Ho

From Mulan (yes, the animated Mulan): I’ll Make a Man Out of You, A Girl Worth Fighting For

And don't forget: Dance!