The Daily Cupcake: Isn't it Grand?

"Marchez dans la merde!"
"Walk in the shit!"
"You IDIOT--if you don't want to fall, walk on the big green mule poop."

This is the sort of conversation you hear--and participate in--when you go to the Grand Canyon in the winter. While it's unquestionably one of the most magnificent sights I've ever seen, the Grand Canyon certainly posed as an obstacle to all of us early-morning canyon-hikers. Because, you see, the entire Northern face of the Grand Canyon is covered in ice and snow.
Naturally, we didn't let the ice stop us from getting part of the way down the cliff face into the canyon! We slipped, hiked, skidded, screamed, tumbled, and stumbled our graceful way down into one of the most serene topographical landmarks of the world--and in style, too. My parents, inspired by my grandfather's fashion epiphany, had purchased extremely warm and comfy long coats to wear in the snow, and so we went in a matching line of tourists down into the coldest part of Arizona.
Observant as we are, we quickly realized that the mule poop--backpackers and super-advanced hikers often take mule teams with them into the canyon if they plan to hike for a long time--provided excellent traction. Thus, the wisdom was shared in many dialects: don't step on the ice, idiot! Step on the poop!
I apologize if this is vulgar or disgusting to you, but in reality, if Americans, Australians, Chinese, Japanese, French, Spanish, Argentineans, Britons, and Saudi Arabians (yes, I can go on and on in this list) can all agree on the same thing, then it must be worth repeating. At the top of this post, I attempted to rewrite what some of the French were muttering amongst themselves as they slid and shuffled past us down the cliff side (though my French is definitely in the rough so it's probably terribly incorrect).
As the ice was unremarkably white, it was quite easy to make out the green mule waste that somehow covered 85% of the entire trail (just, however, the snowy part--convenient, right?). The waste was avoidable, but the sad truth was that it was simply, for once, more prudent to suck it up and walk in the shit. So we did, and boy do I remember it.
I remember it so well because one time I stepped next to it, not on it (in an inconsequential attempt to save my shoes) and then fell right on top of it. And then I slid.
People exclaimed in at least three languages, and tried to help me, but I couldn't tolerate anyone actually wanting to pull my sleeve and help me up when it was covered in, well, stuff. I eventually clambered up and we all continued down the cliff face, but more people soon followed!
In fact, it is testimony to my spectacular trend-setting ability that soon nine other people fell down in the exact spot that I did, which did make it slightly less embarrassing.
When the French people encountered the more difficult part of the trail, it was quite amusing to watch and listen. "La merde, la merde!"they screamed (merde=shit in French). Of course, they were completely gorgeous--the two guys could have been models for North Face or something, and the girl looked flawless as well--and were proceeding into the Canyon at a Grand 1 mile per hour. But it was okay, because they spoke French and then, in their amazing beautiful shoes, tippy-toed into the mule shit.
Safe to say, I will never forget the Grand Canyon.
The view we were hiking to was beautiful, and by the time we were halfway to it, it was warm enough for me to take off my coat of shame and remove my now-nasty gloves. I must thank my mother for having the guts to clean off our coats and make them safe-to-wear again!
It seems that nature has a bit of an acerbic sense of humor. The day before, I remarked to my cousin as we were hiking a different part of the canyon that I knew I'd probably fall and that it would be fine--as long as I didn't fall in the mule crap. Well, what'd'ya know? Fall in it I did (and he didn't :P ).
In case you are wondering, the Grand Canyon was beautiful, and took my breath away with its vastness (and its ability to make you fall down in mule poop). And it is safe to visit when it's snowy outside--just wear clamp-ons!

(: It truly was a grand sight in a very grand canyon. :)

THE CULPRIT!