Isn't it Grand?

"Marchez dans la merde!" 
"Walk in the shit!"
"You IDIOT--if you don't want to fall, walk on the big green mule poop."

This is the sort of conversation you hear--and participate in--when you go to the Grand Canyon in the winter. While it's unquestionably one of the most magnificent sights I've ever seen, the Grand Canyon certainly posed as an obstacle to all of us early-morning canyon-hikers. Because, you see, the entire Northern face of the Grand Canyon is covered in ice and snow.
Naturally, we didn't let the ice stop us from getting part of the way down the cliff face into the canyon! We slipped, hiked, skidded, screamed, tumbled, and stumbled our graceful way down into one of the most serene topographical landmarks of the world--and in style, too. My parents, inspired by my grandfather's fashion epiphany, had purchased extremely warm and comfy long coats to wear in the snow, and so we went in a matching line of tourists down into the coldest part of Arizona.
Observant as we are, we quickly realized that the mule poop--backpackers and super-advanced hikers often take mule teams with them into the canyon if they plan to hike for a long time--provided excellent traction. Thus, the wisdom was shared in many dialects: don't step on the ice, idiot! Step on the poop!
I apologize if this is vulgar or disgusting to you, but in reality, if Americans, Australians, Chinese, Japanese, French, Spanish, Argentineans, Britons, and Saudi Arabians (yes, I can go on and on in this list) can all agree on the same thing, then it must be worth repeating. At the top of this post, I attempted to rewrite what some of the French were muttering amongst themselves as they slid and shuffled past us down the cliff side (though my French is definitely in the rough so it's probably terribly incorrect).
As the ice was unremarkably white, it was quite easy to make out the green mule waste that somehow covered 85% of the entire trail (just, however, the snowy part--convenient, right?). The waste was avoidable, but the sad truth was that it was simply, for once, more prudent to suck it up and walk in the shit. So we did, and boy do I remember it.
I remember it so well because one time I stepped next to it, not on it (in an inconsequential attempt to save my shoes) and then fell right on top of it. And then I slid.
People exclaimed in at least three languages, and tried to help me, but I couldn't tolerate anyone actually wanting to pull my sleeve and help me up when it was covered in, well, stuff. I eventually clambered up and we all continued down the cliff face, but more people soon followed!
In fact, it is testimony to my spectacular trend-setting ability that soon nine other people fell down in the exact spot that I did, which did make it slightly less embarrassing.
When the French people encountered the more difficult part of the trail, it was quite amusing to watch and listen. "La merde, la merde!"they screamed (merde=shit in French). Of course, they were completely gorgeous--the two guys could have been models for North Face or something, and the girl looked flawless as well--and were proceeding into the Canyon at a Grand 1 mile per hour. But it was okay, because they spoke French and then, in their amazing beautiful shoes, tippy-toed into the mule shit.
Safe to say, I will never forget the Grand Canyon.
The view we were hiking to was beautiful, and by the time we were halfway to it, it was warm enough for me to take off my coat of shame and remove my now-nasty gloves. I must thank my mother for having the guts to clean off our coats and make them safe-to-wear again!
It seems that nature has a bit of an acerbic sense of humor. The day before, I remarked to my cousin as we were hiking a different part of the canyon that I knew I'd probably fall and that it would be fine--as long as I didn't fall in the mule crap. Well, what'd'ya know? Fall in it I did (and he didn't :P ).
In case you are wondering, the Grand Canyon was beautiful, and took my breath away with its vastness (and its ability to make you fall down in mule poop). And it is safe to visit when it's snowy outside--just wear clamp-ons!

(: It truly was a grand sight in a very grand canyon. :)

THE CULPRIT!

And just think, this little guy caused it all!

‘Is There an App for That?’ Oh, you mean ‘is there a mint for that?’

About a year ago, the fad was to say “Is there an app for that?” to which, invariably, Apple would provide an affirmative answer. And, as we all know (and can probably attest to when we look at how many purchases of $.99 have added up over the years), there is an app for nearly everything, from determining the tension in a rope to discerning hazy constellations and launching choleric birds at structures of wood-guarded piggies (or that sophisticated puzzle we refer to as Angry Birds).  But the point here is that we have apps for everything. However, while this is common knowledge, it is not common knowledge that the trend toward having a product for everything is spreading beyond the digital realm.

I recently discovered (two hours ago, to be exact—aren’t you proud of me for telling you so soon?) a brand of mints that addresses all sorts of aches and complaints. Historical Remedies has a line of Homeopathic Medicines that has six types of mints to give you a little extra boost, no matter what your issue is. There are:

Stress Mints—for Stress Relief, Moon Drops—for Sleep Aid, Calm Drops—for Emotional Care, Pick Up Drops—For Energy (“pick up” not “pick-up” as in pick-up lines), Passion Drops—for PMS Relief, and Arnica Drops—for Muscle Pain and Ache Relief.

            I have yet to try these mints, but I can promise you that by trying them, you will witness an awesome concept, awesome packaging, and an awesome new blooming trend that we are sure to see in supermarkets soon. I shall report back as soon as I try the mints for myself to let you know if they own up to craze and fame!

             In the meantime, here’s the link: http://www.historicalremedies.com/lozenges

And here are some pictures for you!

                       

Hurry up to be TOO LATE!!!

 "I don't always wear watches, but when I do, I wear cool ones."
           ---Yes, I said this, I am the most interesting watch-wearer in the world.
I love cool watches; not only were they the product that helped me learn the advantages of always knowing the time, but they've also given me a more unique sense of style. And, as this is especially true of water-proof watches, since you often don't end up taking them off, they tend to stay with you until you're bored of them! The above picture is a limited edition collection of TOO LATE watches, an awesome watch brand we discovered in Paia, a surf town on Maui. Finding these in a surf town means three things: the watches are "chill, dude!", they haven't been 100% commercialized yet, and they are waterproof!! It came as an extra bonus that they have awesome cases (little glass bottles with a chic label and great shape that you can reuse for countless things). Of course, the most important thing is that they come in the best colors. We purchased about five watches at that store--one for dad, one for mom, one for me, and two extras for anyone. And, if you're curious, I'm still wearing mine now as I speak (or, I suppose type), almost a year exactly since we bought it in Maui last year. Mine is the one furthest to the left, with the girl's face outlined in pink and black over a yellow band.
There are only about a billion colors for you to choose from so I won't pardon you if you claim you can't find "your color" from this selection, but I will warn you that the watches are for the most part very bright, cheery, and great conversation starters! Also, as my watch has survived a surfing lesson, innumerable showers (aren't you glad?), and half of junior year, I have viable proof that it's durable, waterproof, and virtually unbreakable. 

As we are now in Mexico, we went shopping last night and what did we find? A watch stall! As only the second vendor we'd ever met who was selling TOO LATE watches, we became very excited and came away with a new watch for mom! She got the pink one on the top left of this picture, and it is one of the most original, interesting watches I've ever seen. The entire band is a sort of brick/chain-mail pattern of rectangles, and the only thing that distinguishes the traditionally called "clockface" of the watch is a small button on the side that, when pressed, digitally lights up the time with lights that shine through the rectangular pattern. 
All of their watches are super fun, and they even make plastic belts and wallets as well. 
So if you're looking for a watch for someone who either
1. Likes to surf
2. Likes to know the time
3. Likes colors
4. Is looking for something FUN
then check out TOO LATE watches--before it's TOO LATE and everyone has them!

Le Tasting Menu du Jour

Le Tasting Menu du Jour

            I always love samples, whether they’re beauty products, food, or even demos on my Kindle. Each sample is like a teaser of the real thing, and—of course, as a marketing strategy—gives you a good sense of the product and leaves you wanting more!

Here are a few samples that are specially selected for you from the books we’ve read in True Believers this year. Enjoy!

The Appetizer*

 (The fastest, wittiest, most minimalist French-crafted prose)…………..Candide, Voltaire

She quite innocently took his hand, he as innocently kissed hers with singular grace and ardour. Their lips met, their eyes flashed, their knees trembled, and their hands would not keep still. Baron Thunder-ten-tronckh, happening to pass the screen at that moment, noticed both cause and effect, and drove Candide from the house with powerful kicks on the backside. Cunégonde fainted, and on recovering her senses was boxed on the ears by the Baroness. (21)

The Main Course

(Classic American detective story, with all the more credit for not having a traditionally “American” happy ending)…....………………………The Big Sleep, Raymond Chandler

He reached for another of my cigarettes, placed it neatly between his lips and lit it with a match the way I do myself, missing twice on his thumbnail and then using his foot. He puffed evenly and stared at me level-eyed, a funny little hard guy I could have thrown from home place to second base. A small man in a big man’s world. There was something I liked about him. (168)

The Sophisticated Dessert

(An allusion-filled and metaphor-stuffed experience of flowery words, bawdy insults, and the general spitefulness of royal politics)…………………Henry IV Part I, Shakespeare

If to be fat be to be hated, then Pharaoh’s lean kine are to be loved.

 (II.IV, 457-458)

OR

Ill-weaved ambition, how much art thou shrunk!

When that this body did contain a spirit,

A kingdom for it was too small a bound;

But now two paces of the vilest earth

Is room enough. (V.IV, 87-91)

* Candide : The predominant philosophy here is that of Pangloss: “This is the best of all possible worlds”. While the man becomes a living paradox—in this “best of all possible worlds,” he soon finds himself without an eye, an ear, many teeth, his health, and his home—he is also a beacon of hope, for if this man can adhere to his beliefs through his chance-driven life, then certainly anyone with a less traumatic existence can hope to do so as well! 

Finals!

I have just finished finals! For my English class, True Believers, this was the first time that I've ever written a seminar paper instead of taking a test. We were encouraged to be creative and write in an original way and to have fun with our English paper--can you imagine a better assignment?! So, I decided to write about the wonderful books that we have read this year--Candide, The Big Sleep, and Henry IV: Part One --in the format of blog posts. It made for a very fun project and an interesting combination of resulting pieces of writing. I am so grateful that my teacher didn't freak out when I told him exactly what I intended to do!

 I am telling you this because I would like to post some of the pieces of my final on my blog, to see what you think of them. I've never written a blog post that is analyzing literature before, just as I'd never written an English essay that was addressed to people outside the world of academia!

When you read the next posts (you'll know they're part of my final because they will be referencing books and quoting), please do comment in the comment space below. I would love to hear what you all think of them! I bet my teacher would be curious as well. :)  So, after you finish with these posts, please let me know--either by comment, phone, email, etc.--what you think of these "hybrid" blog posts!

I am in Love...

This is a confession to all my fellow chocolate-lovers: I love chocolate. I love it, love it, love it, and there's nothing you can do to stop me!
Do you ever have that terrible moment around 8:30 at night when you're taken by surprise by a chocolate craving and simply must find something that's chocolate? If so, you should be proud, for it means that you are a true, devout chocolate lover like myself. I have those moments often enough, and I've had an ample amount of them to know how truly tragic it is when you tear through the drawers, cabinets, and the pantry in the kitchen in a futile attempt to find anything remotely related to chocolate (I once had to settle for a chocolate covered coffee bean which, aside from being an experience unto itself (I do not do not do not ever drink coffee because it's gross), made my problem worse: I now like chocolate covered coffee beans as well :(    ). I shall, in a moment, reveal to you the chocolate lover's three deepest secrets to satisfy those chocolate cravings!

 Secret One (only read if you like chocolate):

if you want to try an interesting flavor

Chocolove <3 <3
As they brag on their site, Chocolove has "18 decadent flavors," as well as organic bars and great packaging. Among these flavors--of which I challenge you to try 3 in the next few months--the Almonds in Sea-salt is my favorite. I've also enjoyed the Toffee and Almonds and Cherries and Dark Chocolate. We buy them at Whole Foods, but you can also visit their website and pick your favorite flavors here!
http://www.chocolove.com/10greatbars.htm



Secret Two (only if you love chocolate):
the way to have chocolate without feeling guilty and undisciplined
Ghirardelli 

Two words: Ghirardelli, and Costco.
Costco is amazing, and that is common knowledge. It is not, however, common knowledge that Costco has an excellent taste in chocolate chips. They alternate between the Ghirardelli cacao chocolate chips and the Nestle chocolate chips, which is, admittedly, quite annoying. But here is my challenge to you: prove that you have the skill to go to Costco when they're carrying Ghirardelli chocolate chips, and find them in the store. If you can do both of these things, then you deserve every morsel you get! Chocolate chips are great because they are delicious, small, and have an excellent track record for actually lasting much longer than bars of chocolate because we eat them much slower and--in my case--feel guilty about being "the one" to finish the bag of chocolate chips.
These chocolate chips are my favorite kind, and I cannot begin to list all the recipes I've used them in and all the fruit I've dipped into them once they're melted!

Secret Three (only if you all love chocolate)
Scharfenberger chocolate squares

These squares are perfect for a chocolate-loving family because they come in combos! They can be purchased in cool bags where dark, bittersweet, and milk chocolate (for example) are mixed into the bag. This is perfect for my family; my dad likes milk chocolate, my mom likes dark chocolate, and I prefer their bittersweet (somewhere in between, if you're curious). The end result? Three happy people, a trash can with its faire share of colorful wrappers, and no waste! So if you're into chocolate that's not outrageously sweet and comes in the perfect small quantities, check out Scharfenberger chocolates ASAP!

I do feel slightly apprehensive about sharing these secrets. But just make it count by trying whichever suits your fancy and commenting about what you like!

The Blague Blog

<<Tu blagues!>>
<Non, non, c'est vrai! Je ne blague pas! J'ai un 'blog'!>>
<<Est-ce que tu promets que tu ne blagues pas?>>
<<Oui! Seulement, j'ai un blog--sans blaguer.>>
OR
"You're kidding me!"
"No, no, it's true! I'm not jesting! I have a blog!"
"Do you promise that you're not joking again?"
"Yes! I only have a blog--no joke."

You might be wondering why I wrote this imagined dialogue, but if you speak French (or, yes, don't be ashamed... if you used to speak French), you'll know what I'm talking about. The verb blaguer--to jest, tease, or joke-- haha or in my version of French, to blog-- sounds just like the English word for a "blog".
I was sitting in French this week, when suddenly it hit me: what if I were to explain to someone in France that I have a blog??? Would they think I was telling them that I have a joke, or that I'm trying to flirt with them by teasing? Since this would be such a humiliating situation, I decided to think through exactly how this awkward convo would go, and the above dialogue is what I came up with.
And, dear reader, you are not to worry--I never lie or jest to you, although I do sometimes joke..... I hope that you understand my humor and sarcasm better than I understand my history teacher's sense of humor (hey! I'm working on it, guys)....
Anyways, this should serve as your French lesson for the day. Blaguer does not mean "to blog"; it means "to tease or kid around". And, if you so happen upon a French-speaker, perhaps you can find a better way to explain to them that a blog isn't merely a collection of jests--or at least that this one isn't!

GAGA’S WORKSHOP

Gaga’s workshop

attention all monsters, music-lovers, and creative popculture protegees: lady gaga has hit the big apple. And she’s here for one season and one season only.

Barney’s New York is doing a holiday season special collaboration with Lady Gaga to create an extravaganza extraordinaire: Gaga’s Workshop. It’s pure logic and creative genius to merge Barney’s iconic fashion store with rule breaking fashion icon, Lady Gaga, and the final product is fantastic. Gaga’s Workshop is an “unprecedented project” by Barney’s and 25% of all profits will go to the Born This Way Foundation, by Lady Gaga.

       Get ready to put your paws together for the two if you want to hear more! Not only is Gaga’s Workshop a creative masterpiece, but Lady Gaga has worked with designers to create special products, prizes, and collections just for the lucky visitors both to the website and the store in NYC! I mentioned in an earlier blog post about mascara that Lady Gaga’s cosmetics line for this event is not only glamorous but healthy—and it’s imperative that you know that the rest of her products and clothes are equally impressive. Available products range from $225 Press-On rocker Nails to a $95 chocolate Gaga-licious shoe! The craziness and creativity are endless, and for any Gaga fan or style devotee, visiting this site is 100% necessary! I refuse to spoil the entire surprise, but it’s simply impossible to end this post without telling you more!

       “Working the Gaga experience,” as I shall call it, snatches your attention from the first instant. The website is literally the most creative format I’ve ever seen on the internet; if you’re afraid of special effects and novel graphic design, don’t bother checking it, but if you’re reading for a design surprise, check it out! Gaga’s Workshop at Barney’s New York also has the right packaging to make you want to buy more. The theme seems to be Lady Gaga-meets-Barneys New York-meets-the holiday season- meets cruella d’evil! The bags are artsy, pops out at you, and are unquestionably original.

       As the site will inform you, there are 12 Days of Gaga (for anyone who wasn’t aware :P) and there are 12 Limited Time Collection pieces that are definitely worth your interest. My favorite is the BORN THIS WAY PLAYBUTTON. It’s a pin-on button that has the Gaga graphic on the front and plays 22 tracks from Gaga’s special edition Born This Way album. I adore it!

       Here’s the website link, and feel free to check it out!

And, not to worry. If you don’t live in NYC, a few other Barneys’ throughout the country are featuring products from Gaga’s Workshop, and you can purchase and browse on the Barneys website as well!

       Don’t let the holiday season get you stressed! Have fun with Gaga’s Workshop, Barneys New York, and you might even find the perfect holiday gift!                               

One of the Gaga's Workshop bags

The Grand Entrance!

http://gagasworkshop.com/#welcome

iPick, my Pick!

      Growing up in the iPhone era, I've grown accustomed to assuming that everything that starts with an "i" is a product of Apple.  While this is mostly true, there are some definite exceptions to the rule.... achem, International House of Pancakes, anyone? And though I know that you're dying to assume that iPic theaters are, in fact, another program offered by Apple to make you feel like you're behind in the daily technology, it's my honor to inform you that it's not. In fact, iPic will never make you feel behind again!
      In Arizona this Thanksgiving weekend, some family members and I discovered a hot new type of movie theater--iPic Theaters. iPic prides itself on being a luxury movie theater, and believe me, it has all the qualities of one!
      We entered the theater--after ascending an extremely long escalator-- into a room that's dark with music booming. It's more like a fancy hotel lobby than a ticket counter, with modern lights brightening the dimness and a holiday display set out on the hard wood and marble floors. We "checked in" and then made our way around the ticket counter, passing a formal restaurant, the fanciest popcorn-purchasing set-up I've ever seen, a fully equipped and manned bar, and a small nightclub. Passing by portraits of Hollywood movie stars through the decades, my aunt, cousin, and I finally reached the Breaking Dawn theater, our destination. (I'll skip talking about how I saw an awesome Hunger Games advertisement and how Breaking Dawn is unquestionably the best Twilight movie so far...)
      The seats are soft, large, and comfy--more like small couches than any movie theater seat I've been in! There are also Premium-Plus seats which recline and come complete with full service and a sort of wine vending machine....
       The bathrooms are also worth mentioning. Not only are the stalls huge, but the sinks and floor are so nice that I actually felt uncomfortable going to the movies in jeans and a sweater with a big heart on it! In fact, everyone there was dressed up. As we left the theater, I observed a typical iPick-goer: a girl with well-tended black hair, carefully waved in a half up-do, wearing a creamy-pink silk corset-like shirt, in an extremely short black skirt, with high black pumps and more than a few dollars spent on jewelry. And she looked perfectly in place at this theater!
      The message of the story:
1. Don't look like a dump when you go to the movies
2. Going to the movies is cool--especially when they make it a bar-nightclub-movie mix!
3. You have to go check this out.
4. If you check out this website and find yourself suddenly devoted to iPick even though we don't have one YET in Denver, contact the company! If enough of us request it, perhaps we'll get our Pick (haha pun intended) of theaters to come!

"Check-in"

I believe I forgot to mention the lighting displays. Here they are!


 Check out http://www.ipictheaters.com/ for more details

Martina Navratilova!

There are few people who can be globally lauded as a champion, classic, advocate, and role model. Martina Navratilova is such a woman; she is a brave, outspoken role model and is arguably the greatest tennis player of all time, with an impressive 18 Grand Slams singles titles under her belt and three of the six longest winning streaks in tennis history. And not only is she an amazing athlete—she’s also an excellent speaker! Martina is a world-famous advocate for the empowerment of women and for her encouragement to women everywhere to create their futures. Martina’s athletic prowess and role as an advocate made her a hero of our parents’ generation, and now, with her excellent speaking skills, she is speaking to thousands of people about two of her fundamental values: the freedom to create your own identity and empowerment of women. Early in November of this year, she came to speak at a luncheon for the Women’s Foundation of Colorado, which I was able to attend with my mother and my tennis coach, who’d gone on the pro circuit with Martina when they were younger.

In addition to the 2,000 guests—mostly women—at the luncheon, Governor Hickenlooper warmly commemorated Martina and then turned over the mic so we could hear her words of wisdom, motivation, and pride. Martina spoke for just over an hour, and shared with us her beginnings in the Czech Republic, her dream to be a tennis champion, and the strength she gained—both to become one of the finest athletes in the world and to live openly and freely as her truest self.

Martina is one of the best speakers I have ever heard. Not only is she articulate and sincere, but she speaks and acts for something that she believes in, and she believes in this message so much that she risked her career, her image, and even the love of her father because she knew that it could be worth it one day. Martina is, in the truest sense of the word, an advocate for self-ownership, identity, and passion. Her pursuit of these goals led her to make many choices that others would consider fatal to her career and lifestyle—but in the end they led her to happiness and an identity greater than any previous sports enthusiast had ever embodied: an advocate who lives what she preaches.

Martina does things her own way, no matter what life throws at her. When she was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2010, Martina refused to let the disease control her life. ‘I wanted to go to Paris,’ she said, to commentate for the French Open. ‘So I did my radiation in Paris! It was an international treatment; I wasn’t going to let it keep me from doing what I most wanted to do’. While her diagnosis was one of the scariest events of her life, Martina also recognized the strength that her philosophy holds, even in the direst of circumstances. Martina’s belief that “there are many forces strong enough to change our destiny, but only if we let it” has pulled her through a life of challenge, willpower, and finally success.

Her belief that “the human spirit thrives on being authentic” has also shaped her every move; it gave her the courage to be openly gay, it gave her the motivation to leave an oppressive country, and it inspired her to, in turn, inspire others by being an advocate and mentor to women and girls around the world. Martina has been loathe to hand the controls of her life over to any power except herself since childhood, and her sense of empowerment was never just remarkable; it is transformative. As a tennis success story, one expects that she knows how to plan for a goal and how to achieve it, and Martina does not disappoint! She has embedded her work ethic and beliefs into her daily life, and encourages others to do the same. If you have a goal, she believes, you should let nothing prohibit you from getting to it.

She provided a four-step plan for anyone who wants to be successful:

1.          1.Stay positive

2.           2. Find your passion; if you truly care about what you’re doing, you will always do it better.

3.          3.  Have a great attitude

4.            4. Recognize your gifts

These techniques worked for a woman who became a champion against political, social, and athletic opposition; they worked for a woman who embraced who she was and showed people to love her, even after an initially horrific and hateful reaction; they worked for one person in our world who faced a lot of the same pressures, dilemmas, and choices that we face. In light of this truth, it might even work for you.

Martina had one last message that speaks to our ability to transform our lives and ourselves no matter what: we can change anything within our control that we want to change. And our thoughts are within our control. If you do not like something, she recommends, change it (not so tricky, right?)! If you have a negative thought, make it into a positive one. “If you don’t like your address, move! You’re not a tree!”

Martina faced a wonderful world that had some not-so-wonderful aversions to who she wanted to be, but that wasn’t strong enough to choose her life. Martina picked who she would be—to herself and to the world—so that she would know her future, and choose it. As she said, “the best way to know your future is to create it”.