Yummy Gummies

I have recently discovered a new fantastic type of candy. While I'm sure this is exactly what you want to hear (don't we all want another sugary weakness of ours exposed to the entire world?), I just couldn't resist making a petite post about this wonderful discovery.
Drum roll, please......
Yes, they are called gummy butterflies! 
It's the newest take on gummy bears, and while gummy bears are certainly still great chewy candies, these gummy butterflies are just perfect for summertime! 

Aren't they adorable? They're also just as delicious as their bearish cousins. 
If you've suddenly been love-struck by these gummy butterflies, you can purchase them on Amazon.com (because, being honest, there is nothing perishable about them...)

A Look-Book For Your Favorite Summer Trends

 Nail polish!!!

 Cover-ups and Cut-outs

One-pieces

(Here's a post simply full of pictures! Here are some pictures of the trends and fun beachwear described in my previous blog post. )

Well Suited for a Big Splash!

Well Suited for a Big Splash

            Attention anyone looking forward to summer: it is time to make a splash in the beach-world of summer fashion! For those of you interested in something more original and comfortable than the traditional bikini or one-piece, the designers of this year’s summer collections have you covered—literally!

Fashion leaders such as Trina Turk and Missoni have put forward unique cover-ups and one-piece swimsuits for years, but this year the craze finally caught on in normal retail stores. Among the top styles are side-cinched suits, halter tops with cut-outs (yes, cut-outs, and they are most certainly not going away for a while), ruffled knit swimwear, and, yes, even the occasional boho/retro/polka-dotted bikini.

Plus, two of the most classic swimsuit styles have been re-invigorated this year; high-waisted bikini bottoms—some with belted details and some without—and the vintage-styled one-piece have made quite a come-back.

However, in terms of summer style, you can’t just talk the talk. You also have to walk the walk. And yes—that means that you must have the right shoes. Since the perfect summer pair is comfortable, cute, and accessible, you, dear reader, should consider yourself to be in very good luck. The espadrille, a type of shoe that originated in the Basque region of France and Spain, is a lightweight shoe known for its comfort and neutral coloring. Thus, this shoe can compliment anything from a swimsuit to a formal sundress—AKA it’ll be your new best friend for the entire summer.

The other part of “walking the walk” is the color statement. This summer, color is all the rage, as is illustrated in numerous nail polish, make-up, and fashion collections themed around Brazil’s famous carnival holiday where locals dress in vibrant colors and celebrate together. One stellar example is the Deborah Lippmann collection of super-bright, fun nail polish called “Run the World (GIRLS)”.

So, pair together a fun new swimsuit, a killer pair of espadrilles, and neon nail polish and what do you have? A fabulous day ahead of you at the beach/ pool/ wherever it happens to be that you are going. But you are missing just three things. Clearly, you need sunscreen (so that your skin is not the most neon red part of your outfit), a cover up, and a beach bag to carry all these wonderful accoutrements. Just remember to find something you’ll wear/carry and love for a long, fun time this summer!

Congratulations everyone—especially high school seniors about to graduate—for making it through another wonderful year of fashion, academics, stress, work, and, of course, blog-reading <3 . Have a great time this summer—and don’t forget to make a big splash! You deserve it.

Signed,

            Jordan 

When It's Driving You Crazy

We've all had those days/ weeks/ months where everything's just driving us absolutely up-the-wall crazy.
Sometimes we handle the chaos and stress by screaming, kicking, succumbing to panic attacks, or, if we're a ridiculously fortunate British singer named Adele, writing and making a #1 hit album out of our rage and fury. But, if you're not quite so lucky and usually end up becoming roughly 1,000 times less productive when you're all up-tight, don't worry. As far as I know, that's normal. Stress can improve our performance in the heat of a competitive moment (a tennis state championship, for example), but it can also wear our wits thin if it's prolonged (cough cough, the end of the school year, anybody?).
I haven't found a panacea for alleviating stress and trying situations.
But I have discovered a few tricks that might help you get a grip on things and let you keep calm and carry on (and no, it doesn't require purchasing a pillow/ poster/ bumper sticker with that phrase on it).

If this is you, please continue reading.

So here's my simple and reasonably effective new strategy for dealing with stress:

1. Make a list.
• [I would like to take this moment to point out that I am absolutely practicing what I preach; check it out--you've got yourself a nice little list right here to start with!]
• Reality Check: the first time you make a list you might end up ruining it with tear marks or you might tear it up and chuck the paper confetti into a trash can. But do not be discouraged. If your list does overwhelm you, it's even more important that you write it out (and write it out on real paper, not on the computer where you can "accidentally" hit the delete key and watch your responsibilities vanish). When you write your list, write every "to-do" item that you can think of in two minutes. Just two minutes. No longer. Once you've completed your list, write a goal time on the top of it so that you know when you're aiming for to have it done by. Helpful hint: put your goal time about 25% earlier than you think you need to complete the entire list to motivate you to challenge yourself and understand that you can get everything done.
• Don't forget: cross every item out once you've finished it!
2. Talk it out
• It's a commonly held misconception that we, as social beings, are supposed to only let other people think that we're 100% happy, confident, and under control all of the time. But dear reader, you are in for a rude awakening if you've ever bought into this ridiculous idea. No one is perfect. No one is happy, confident, and in control of their emotions 100% of 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. In fact, there's a famous quote (I cannot remember who said it, but I don't take any credit whatsoever for relating it to you) that says something along the lines of "we can be in control of our actions, but never our emotions". So we all know how it's hard to keep feelings and reactions bottled up inside and suffer through like a stoic pillar of stone. Because we know this, you should know that it is completely okay to talk about all this emotional baggage with your friends and family.
• A confession: I've done this probably a little too much in the past few weeks--but guess what? I feel better after talking/ explaining it all anyways. 
• This is a method that works. Confronting your fears--saying something like "I'm nervous" and owning up to your honest feelings--immediately reduces some of the stress. After all, it's hard to be stressed out and pretend that nothing's wrong. Save yourself some energy and try a little less--and talk a little more.
3. Run away

• Doesn't this sound ridiculously tempting? Before you get too excited/ relieved, let me clarify; this bullet point on your new to-do list does not mean that you should flee the room when forced to confront your problems. Quite the opposite. It means to let that nervous, jittery energy escape your body in a way that's healthy, both mentally and physically. AKA: go for a run. Or play a sport. Or do some brutal wall sits and then go for a run. Or swim laps until you're feeling rather exhausted. Or.... 
• You know what I mean. Engage in productive, healthy physical activity. With the appropriate mental concentration, endorphin-pumping activities, you'll feel vitalized, refreshed, and much more in control of yourself. After all, who could doubt Elle Woods' flawless advice on the subject? (In case you have no idea that I'm referencing Legally Blonde, this is the part in the movie where Elle insists that Brooke is innocent.  The quote goes as follows: "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy just don't shoot their husbands." So....)
4. Drink it in
• I would like to make it clear that I am not encouraging you to drink alcohol. Quite the opposite. In this post, I am encouraging you to drink everyone's favorite, most necessary beverage.... WATER! Keep a bottle with you all through the day and be sure to have a glass of something at every meal; with extra stress floating around, you want to be hydrated, alert, and not extra-anxious, and water helps with all of these things. 
• If upping your water intake per day doesn't cut it, also try opting for low-caffeinated tea. If you get a tasty blend with enough caffeine to keep you going but an amount of caffeine small enough so that you can justify drinking it until about 5PM, you will soon realize that the tea kettle is your new low-stress best friend.
5. Laugh it off
• Laughter is the best medicine. But you know that already! So here are two new ways for you to increase your dosage of this healthy, happy, 100% natural (except when forced...) medicine. 
• First, what to do when it gets awkward... If you are stressed out, you are probably focused on about twenty things at once (ex: you're hurrying to lunch, texting on your phone to someone telling them that you're already going to be late, trying to find the one important piece of paper in your bag that you probably left in the kitchen at 7 in the morning, freaking out about a test/ project coming up, and of course trying not to scream in frustration at all the overwhelming and unfair ridiculous things that keep popping up for you to deal with... Sound familiar?). When you are focused on twenty things at once, you are going to make mistakes. Because you are human, remember? So, when the mistake happens, acknowledge that it's completely ridiculous and humiliating. If someone saw it happen and laughs, you laugh too. Because honestly, wouldn't you laugh if you saw it happen to someone else? And then, ready...... you move on. Voila! Like magic, only better.
• Second, when there's no one around to see how awkward your stress made you... This is for when you're at home and are procrastinating/ freaking out because you have so much work to do and you of course are not doing it because you are reading this blog post... or because you've reached the point where it's physically impossible to do anything more. So, here's what you do. You either read one of my three previous blog posts (or check out the funny book called Anguished English), YouTube Drunk Makeup Tutorial, or hang out and laugh with friends or family. Give these activities 25 to 30 minutes of your undivided attention. Then, you move on. Yay!
6. Stop talking and listen

• Sometimes it helps to just take a moment and listen. And don't you dare think for a moment that I'm not being completely serious. Take a listen to any of these things and it might just create what feels like a miracle and you'll feel better.
• Because it's spring: the birds, the rain, the wind (it's relaxing, and it's quite easily accessible...)
• Music: Demetia by Owl City (in case you forget how crazy everyone else feels), Lady Gaga (because despite her fashion choices which you may or may not comprehend at all, she gets it. Like, really gets it), T Swift (in case you thought that you have relationship difficulties.... Ha)
• Meditation: Internet tutorials

And most importantly......

    7.   Wish your mother a HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

Cutee google doodle <3

Mothers, we love you! 

Don't Throw the Geese!

    When I first entered 6^th grade at my school, the middle school administrators were very careful to warm my entire class about proper recess-time behavior. Since the 6^th grade apparently had quite a history of having confrontations with the obnoxious geese that plague our school campus every fall…and spring…and winter…we were warned of the necessary code of behavior we were to follow if we wished to remain at the school and not get kicked out. The memorable part went something like this:

Don’t chase the geese.

Don’t yell at the geese (too loud).

Don’t throw the geese!

Naturally, the only rule that ever stuck was the last one. As far as I know, no one has thrown the geese since I’ve been at my school. However, it’s a fascinating thought; someone must have thrown the geese in order to make this rule necessary! I just wonder how he/she accomplished it. It’s quite impressive, really!...

But we must take into account the nature of the geese at my school. And by nature, I mean stupidity. Just check out this photo. I believe the location tells it all.

A very happy, very stupid goose taking a breather, waiting
to regain its energy to continue building its nest.

Clearly, this is a very idiotic goose. As it’s prime time for mating and nesting season, the campus geese have paired off, put together nests, and become extremely territorial; they’ve religious continued honking, flapping, flying, and charging at everyone who walks by. But it worries me that this goose has made its nest in the parking lot, of all places. The goose was settled in this glorious location for a very long time—so long that I left—and seemed quite content to remain there for about several weeks until its eggs started to hatch. I imagine by now that someone has removed the nest, or at least moved it to a patch of grass. But really? What on earth was the goose thinking?? A nest in a parking lot? Either that’s natural selection at work, or it’s a very unfortunate little goose.

And we have more geese that could put this one to shame in its attempt at true idiocy. Yesterday as I was walking past a middle school arts building, I nearly stumbled upon a very intense and focused goose. You see, this goose was engaged in a heated staring and intimidation contest—with itself! It’d caught sight of its reflection in the full-length windows of the building, and decided that the two-foot-tall bird that appeared in the window six inches away from it was an imminent threat to its wellbeing. So I hurried past as quickly as possible, not wanting to be caught in the awkward skirmish that might occur when the goose decided to attack itself.

But at least it wasn’t honking…

In the science building of my school, there is an echo-y part of the roof that has hoodwinked many a honking goose. Since an adventurous goose couple decided either to place their nest up there or go on their honeymoon there on the roof (it’s hard to tell, but it’s clear that they’re always up there), they tend to become extremely confused with the clever acoustics. One goose will honk, quite loudly, for some reason or other. Then, faced with the ominous (and loud) echo of its own honk, it will honk again, but louder, to scare the other “goose” away. This cycle tends to last long enough to drive most people away from the building or toward their headphones to block it out. All there is to say is “poor goose”. I mean, how would you feel if you made your nest right where a “ghost goose” that never showed its face lived? You’d probably honk, too.

But wait—that’s not true. You’d just move. But a goose wouldn’t think of that… hence, they are called geese/goose-brains/menaces.

But remember—as annoyed as you become with our little honking guests, never throw the geese!

Nailing It

This past year, fingernail accessorizing went through the roof in terms of accessibility, variety, and novelty. OPI introduced the Shatter collection of topcoats, Sally Hansen pushed press-on nail designs, and countless other companies began selling images, rhinestones, and other adornments for our fingernails.

However, despite these flashy, complicated options, I’ve found a new personal favorite that’s easily do-able, fun, and original.

AKA, it’s a new take on French tips. Instead of coating your nails with a pale, neutral pink, go for a fun color such as peach, blue, silver, or even pink or black. After applying one to two coats (depending on how intense you want the look to be), let them dry and then apply tips in a complimentary glitter color. Either choose chunky glitter that’s in the same color as the base color that you used on your nails, or choose a polish with smaller sparkles that add color variety.

Here are two of my recent favorites:

1.                    Love Shack by Laura Lippmann (Lippmann Collection) as a base color. (It’s a peachy pink color) with Don’t be Eggnog-ious by Sephora by OPI for the chunky glitter-tips.

2.                    Del Sol’s Marvelous Metal as a base with Rock Mania by Nabi Nail Lacquer for smaller sparkle tips. This combo is interesting—and quite entertaining, actually—because the brand Del Sol specializes in making products that change color in the sun. Thus, by using these two polishes, you get two looks out of one! Indoors, you’ll have sleek silver nails with purple, magenta, and blue-sparkled tips, but outdoors, you’ll have a magenta-purple base tipped with bright sparkles. If you’re planning to spend a lot of time outside, I recommend this combo; never underestimate how fun it is to watch your nails change colors before your eyes!

An example of the new way to do French tips.

Anguished English: One Amazing Book (that I sincerely hope does not remind you of this blog)

     A few years ago, my grandmother gave me one of my favorite presents—the book Anguished English by Richard Lederer. In all honesty, she had me impressed with the gift with the subtitle alone.

     Anguished English: An Anthology of Accidental Assaults Upon our Language is something of a well-intended humorous insult extended to the entire English speaking—and writing—community. As an English teacher, Mr. Lederer has accumulated an impressive arsenal of hilarious grammar, comprehension, and altogether random mistakes. In a nutshell, this short book is a collection of all the awkward, embarrassing, funny, and invariably true mess-ups that seem to plague the English-speaking world.

An assortment of personal favorites:

A miswritten advertisement: “The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.”

The concluding line of a misconceived history of the world: “The First World War, caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by an anahist…”

A plea to receive government welfare after previously being refused it: “You have changed my little boy to a girl. Will this make a difference?”

A “my child was sick from school” note: “Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.”

     To read more such lines and stories, purchase or check out this book from the library. And in case you absolutely adore it, there’s a sequel! Entitled, shockingly, More Anguished English!

     Honestly, these are just the small kinds of things that can easily make your day.

     The only sad part is when the chronology of errors begins to feel more like an autobiography of grammar goof-ups than the shameful failings of some anonymous person…