Eyebrows: A Cautionary Tale

I consider myself extremely understanding in accepting new fashion trends. Even if the trend is totally different than anything I’ve ever seen before, or if it’s not exactly commonly worn, I am usually a very good audience member for a new trend. However, the newest W Magazine exhibits a fashion trend that I simply cannot tolerate: THE EYEBROWS. The Neiman Marcus advertisements in this magazine are completely ridiculous; not only is the jewelry not my favorite, but the eyebrows are distracting and definitely not attractive. And, to add to my fears of the terrible eyebrows, once I saw these pictures, every other model in the magazine seemed to have furry ones as well!

            If this trend is to establish itself—which, due to basic fashion-Darwinism, it shouldn’t—I must proclaim a forthcoming doom of all shapely, clean, neat, and sophisticated eyebrows.

            It will be, in a sense, the invasion of the eyebrows. The shaggy, furry, messy, upswept eyebrows. I shall do you the liberty of not adding a picture of said eyebrows, but I shall paint their accuracy to you in words, so that we all understand the danger and threat to good fashion that this trend poses! While this trend could be convenient for people like me, who have full eyebrows that, according to a make-up artist, should occasionally be brushed to keep them looking their best (brushing eyebrows! There are no limits…), it’s also unforgivably sloppy. While the models who were in the adds obviously had perfectly trimmed, waxed, and shaped eyebrows, each brow was carefully slung upward so that scraggly, uneven, and clumpy lines redefined the top of each brow. In all honesty I’m sure it must have been quite uncomfortable!

            I understand that this eyebrow binge is probably a reaction to the trend of perfectly manicured brows that’s been growing for years, but honestly, I think it’s a terrible trend (and not only because it’s the antithesis of eyebrow styles of the past few decades). Please, spare yourselves the eyebrow pain that harassing your eyebrows like this will give you! And spare me the pain of seeing it!

Yummy... When Dessert's Healthy!

Don't you love it when you find something that delicious and healthy at the same time? If you answered 'yes', then I have the dessert for you! Recently, my mom and I discovered the perfect tasty treat that, remarkably, doesn't leave you feeling guilty at all about enjoying it. It is, in short, a healthy banana split.
Want to know the secret? Read closely!

Your Arsenal:
Two Bananas
A Lot of Chocolate Chips
Almonds
Milk
Sticks

Your Plan of Attack:
Chop up some almonds and then put them in foil and toast them in a toaster oven.
Cut the bananas in halves, or leave them whole and poke them with sticks.
Melt the chocolate chips on the stove, and thin it out by adding some milk.
Dip the bananas in the chocolate, and while they're still wet, roll them in the chopped nuts.
Freeze and enjoy a few hours later!

The Time Allotted You to Complete This Task:
Twenty minutes to prepare it.
Three or so hours to freeze it.
Ten minutes to eat it!

Enjoy!

(A sneak peek picture)

Dear Diary, of Cleaning

The Diary of the Lady Who Cleans Your Hotel Room When You Are Not There

Dear Diary,

      Today I cleaned many hotel rooms. I love my job so very much, because it gives me the right to snoop around peoples' things, rummage through toiletry kits, and touch things. The best thing about my job, aside from the chocolates I carry around in my cart and the shampoos, is that I can rearrange absolutely everything--and even sometimes get tipped for it. I don't know if I just like to be super organized and a control freak when people can't argue with me, but I simply love straightening rooms. Today, I went into Jordan's hotel room and took the liberty of rearranging her toothbrush for her! I'm certain that she appreciates that I combed every bristle of the toothbrush with my dirty fingers, and that I tipped her contact case the wrong way and folded the toilet paper so nicely that she feels guilty ripping it off. I was also so polite as to carefully place her dirty tennis clothes, which she'd left in a tidy heap on the floor, on top of her even-more-dirty suitcase, with her intimate apparel meticulously spread out on top of the entire display. I can only imagine--being shocked at it, of course--her horror at the arrangement of her clothing, upon a traveler's pedestal in the center of the room. I also have a fascination with the contents of peoples’ toiletry bags. Today, I removed all the contents of Jordan’s mother’s toiletry bag and vigilantly put each item upon a white washcloth, so that she might thank me for arranging her toilette in such an original way; I put her tooth brush side-by-side with her hairbrush (I always love it when the bristles are on top of each other—it’s so much more sanitary!), I put her lotion samples upside down so they’d only leak a little bit, I hid her make-up brushes behind the Kleenex box, I stowed her lipsticks beside the toothpaste and shampoo bottle, and I successfully covered the entire counter until it looked like a cornucopia of beauty and skin products. Of course, I didn’t stop there—I would never! I proceeded to bury all of Jordan’s schoolwork beneath the crappy local newspaper, and I left a thoughtful generic note of “do you really want to feel like a tree-murderer and environment-slayer? You shouldn’t be such a wasteful, slimeballing pig who requires their towels to be exchanged—at the expense of drinking water for the rare Coloradan River blond-hare—a whopping two times a week. Also, if your selfish consumer self would think for once of this hotel and the money we would save by only washing your towels once a week, you wouldn’t mind this note at all… Hope you enjoy your stay here with us!”

Sincerely,

The Lady Who Comes To Your Room Twenty Minutes After You Call Housekeeping

Footloose Feet!

Footloose Feet!

Footloose!

Loose, cut loose, everybody cut footloose...
For anyone who likes to cut loose every once in a while, or who enjoys smiling, friends, or dancing, I bear excellent news: There is now a pair of Footloose movies! In the original Footloose, stars Kevin Bacon and Lori Singer dance it up in the small town of Bomont with Sarah Jessica Parker as a supporting actress (no, it wasn't that long ago); in the remake, Kenny Wormald and Julianne Hough--both excellent (and previously professional) dancers-- take on the new responsibility of legalizing public dancing for the town. And the best news? Even for a remake, both Footlooses are good! 
The new one stays remarkably consistent with the original story, with the same characters, names, and plot; all that's new are the clothes and the people. 
Footloose the New (as I shall call it) snatches your attention from the first moment. It's a teaser, really. The first few minutes of the movie show, in (approximate) statistics:
People: 15
Arms: 2
Faces: 0
Feet: 30
The movie intros at a party that took place three years before the Footloose main storyline starts--and does it all with feet. Footage of dancing is taken from the knees down for at least 15 different dancers--all in different shoes, boots, sneakers, jeans, jean shorts, skirts, cow boy attire, etc.... From a fashion point of view, it's a great way to kick off the movie, show some cute country styles, and get the viewer interested, because those feet know how to move!!!! It's incredible how quickly, perfectly, precisely, and seemingly effortlessly the dancers move their feet, tap their toes, click their heels, get it moving! 
Footloose the New has an extremely talented cast of excellent dancers, a good wardrobe department, energetic music, creative cotton mill renovations, and a good message to all: Go Footloose and Dance!
I definitely recommend both the original Footloose and the new one. And if you don't care for them particularly, I can still assure you that they will inspire you to dance.

The Perfect Parking Job

It's amazing how happy little things can make us. Big things can make us happy, too, but the little things--as I mentioned in my post The Pink Poodle-- can make us happy as well. It's important that we don't forget all the little ways and little things that make us happy--not only are they easier than the big things, but they're simply more fun, as well! Plus, they usually don't take much effort (Key word: usually).
The other day I discovered a new such little thing. I got my license in September, and parking has been...well...interesting. However, something amazing happened! I parked PERFECTLY!!! It was so exciting I took a picture, and made my friends look at it, and texted it to my parents.... Yes, you get the picture; it was a very big, very exciting, very happy event! And it reminded me of something very important: even if you go to a dance or a party or some long-planned event or elite social and have fun there, almost nothing can compare to the feeling of spontaneously doing something just right. You can't plan something to be perfect, just as I can't park perfectly on demand (or nearly ever, really). But when it goes just perfectly (when you're with friends and just have the time of your life without even doing anything--we've all had that moment) without planning, motive, or stress, it's one of the most wonderful things in the world.
Maybe I'm just being dramatic because I'm still super-excited about driving and having a car--Who knows?! But I do know that it's true, and that even if I'm reacting out of some innate aspiration to be a perfect driver, parking perfectly that one time was the best thing that could have happened at that moment. And it never hurts to be reminded of the amazing things that happen by accident.
After all, I believe it is well debated if good things always happen on purpose (no, don't feel guilty :P ).

Sleeping Beauty, Minus the... Sleep? YES!

            One of the charms of being a teenager, anyone who has a job, a mother, or anyone else is that we get to be tired much more frequently than we would otherwise! While we regard this as inevitable—and, often, the product of liberating personal choice (yes, I shall stay up until three in the morning to do homework and Facebook because I CAN)—looking like you’re a regretful member of the walking dead in the morning isn’t. Nothing’s going to steal back those six hours of sacrificed sleep, but there are plenty of tricks for looking like you got your personally prescribed amount of beauty sleep. And, hey! Don’t worry about it so much—it’ll just keep you up later, and then you’ll get even fewer zzz’s!

Make-up:

There are approximately a billion make-up tips to make you look awake. And as I’ve learned, many of them work—and some don’t. I learned that last year, when every day my friend came to school exhausted from a less restful night than anticipated, I proceeded to tell her—in what I truly thought was a kind manner—that she looked “so tired!” One day, she worked up the nerve—or, shall I say, the annoyance—to explain to me that it didn’t exactly help when I told her how tired she looked every day. So, if you aren’t interested in having that problem, some advice:

Find an eyeshadow color that is similar to your skin tone (the closer the match, the better) with a golden hue to it. This way, even if you’re dead tired, your eyes look brighter, shinier, and have a healthy, smooth, and upbeat look to them—without looking like you put any major make-up on! My favorite kind of eyeshadow that has a gold tint to use is a cream eyeshadow that can be applied in a light layer with your finger. 

Also, focus on skin. Aside from the notorious dark circles that start cropping up a month or so from now, be sure to devote attention to each part of your face that seems as sleepy as you feel. For example, I have a Laura Mercier toned moisturizer that I adore—it has SPF 20, comes in my skin tone (it’s not even the #1 fairest color—it’s #2!), and moisturizes. It’s like a triple-treat. So, apply your toned moisturizer to your dark circles, your T-zone, and any other areas that need a little perk up. But don’t mask up your whole face! For instance, it is okay to leave your chin and cheeks relatively un-toned! 

Then, if you would like, apply a bit of blush highlighting powder to over your eyebrows, over the bridge of your nose, and your cheekbones. Apply some NONCLUMPING mascara—not super heavily, but enough to make your eyelashes thicker and darker—and voila! An awakened face!

Here's a Yves St. Laurent golden cream eyeshadow--see? They exist!

 

Energy:

I’m not a big fan of coffee, but I do know my teas! Among the many, one of my favorites for waking me up in the morning when I have a double class period of my least favorite class is Teavana’s White Ayurvedic Chai and Samurai Chai Mate mix. It’s delicious, smells very good, and wakes me up! I definitely recommend it!

Music:

When you’re trying so hard to wake up, good music always helps. Some personal favorites:

By Katy Perry: Last Friday Night, Hummingbird Heartbeat

By Lady Gaga: Bad Romance, Boys Boys Boys

From Wicked: Defying Gravity, One Short Day

From A Good Year: Gotta Get Up

From Slumdog Millionaire: Jai Ho

From Mulan (yes, the animated Mulan): I’ll Make a Man Out of You, A Girl Worth Fighting For

And don't forget: Dance!