Driving 101: Soccer Moms

Drivers in LA are famous for having quirky shortcuts to get from place to place without getting immersed in rush hour traffic, highways, or major roads. In LA Story Steve Martin's clever route even takes him across a few yards and down a flight of stairs. So it's a well known fact that us drivers can be...creative when formulating our driving strategies.
My own driving experience has not let this theory down. In fact, this post is dedicated to a dream of mine: sharing good driving strategies that make being on the road between sixteen-wheelers and snotty multi-tasking road ragers a bit more bearable for everyone.
So, here's to my favorite driving strategy, the soccer moms.
We all know them, We've all probably joked about them at one point or another. But now we can all thank them (for once). Because, you see dear reader, soccer moms are about to become your new best friend.
I first discovered this trick my first week of driving on my way to conditioning. I was at a stoplight when I realized that if I did indeed continue in my path of travel, I would find myself on a highway zooming 70 mph away toward the wrong direction for an undetermined amount of time. Naturally, I panicked.
Between furtive glances behind me (nope, too late to back up (illegally), there were six cars behind me), toward the shoulder on the side of the road (no, too far away), and to the left, I decided to take the option of cutting off the car to my left.
It was a decent-sized white GMC, with a sunglasses-armed, blonde-haired, Lulu Lemon-wearing, and texting soccer mom in the driver's seat. The only thing that mattered was that she was texting.
I plotted my next move.
I was the first car in line at the stoplight, so once it turned I'd be 25 feet and 4 seconds away from going onto the Highway Entrance of Doom.
The instant the light turned, I jammed on the gas, glanced to see that Soccer Mom was still texting (I think she might have been adding an emoticon, but I'm not sure), and only broke the one tiny rule of changing lanes in the middle of an intersection. Soccer Mom spied my savy move and let me into her lane anyway.
And THAT is how I fell in love with soccer moms.
Now, I always try to be next to their cars at an intersection, just in case.