We went to Las Vegas for a tennis tournament this weekend. We spent plenty of time in the car, driving down Sahara, and Paradise, etc. Now, I acknowledge that when most people think of Las Vegas, they remember such landmarks as the MGM Grand, Mandalay Bay, and Excalibur. However, just this once, I beg to differ. From the excellent view provided by the car's windows, I discovered that Las Vegas billboards deserve the title of Landmark. Have you ever read them? They are hilarious, and once again remind me of my eternal puzzlement: do people ever call the number on a billboard?
The first iconic billboard that caught my eye was one for people with bunions.
It read something like this:
Hate your bunion?
Call now!
1-85-NOBUNION
Perhaps there is such a demand for bunion removal in Las Vegas because of the long, long casino hours in impossibly high shoes.
For about ten minutes, we went into an industrial part of the city with (GASP!) no traffic! The area was a bit sketchy, depending on how comfortable you are with literally no one on the road and very client-specialized stores. Literally as you drive down the street: Cabaret (apparently a night club of sorts, with pictures of six girls in amazing little clothing on the storefront), Envy's Girls (you can imagine), a type of Playboy shop (I'd never actually seen a real one before! Yes, SO exciting...), etc. There was an Adult Emporium right near the highway that exited into this industrial area of the city. What a unique billboard they had.
"Advanced Studies in Human Sexuality"
Come and meet our graduate students!
World's largest collection of sexual horrors
Excuse me. I do not believe I am old enough to legally meet your graduate students. And there's nothing sexy about that disgusting orange color used on that sign.
Even though the bunion add was my favorite one, there was another billboard that had a tempting advertisement for night school on it!
Night School for Girls (Picture of a 23 year old girl in a preppy plaid crop top sweater with perfect little pig tails)
4 Nights Every Week 4 You!
Classes Offered: Burlesque, Pole Dancing, lap dancing
What a professional institution! I'd heard that Vegas public schools aren't very good--now I see why everyone wants their children to go to private ones....
*Please note, these are approximations of what the billboards said. I doubt I got every word correct, but I did convey the central idea. If you go to Vegas, you can correct any incorrect billboard words I've written!
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