Bundle Up!

Welcome to the full front of winter, everyone! Regardless of where you're spending the next few icy months, you've probably begun to notice some severe symptoms of sniffly winter. Depending on your location, possible symptoms include: virulent outbreaks of sniffilus (a serious case of the sniffles, easily contagious), a seven-hour stretch of time between sunrise and sunset, a surplus of hot chocolate, tea, and coffee invitations, the arrival of indoor sports seasons, peppermint everything in coffee shops, little ponds of ice water on your window sills, etc. In some regions, the arrival of winter could simply mean you wear a t shirt instead of a tank top with your short-shorts (Yes, Hawaii, I'm talking to you!). For those of you holing up in Polar Vortex-ridden areas, here are some tips for staying snuggly-warm in the windy icebox we call winter.*

*Please Note: during the worst of what was called the Polar Vortex, the Chicago area, with windchill of negative 45 degrees, was deemed too cold for the polar bears. The zoo put the polar bears inside to protect them!

If this is you, please read on.

Zip Up Early
Before braving the beastly weather, spend a quality 2-5 minute-- entirely bundled and zipped--indoors to up the initial temperature of the inside of your coat before cooling off outside.

Invest in Accessories
Supplement your parka with the added coverage and insulation of hats, ear muffs, scarves, gloves, and leg warmers. A little extra fluff goes a long way and traps in valuable extra heat.

Improve Your Shower Skillz
Serious--this one is huge! Shut the door and steam up the bathroom before even contemplating removing your pants. Wait until it's more comfortable outside your winter furs than inside them, and hop on it! AFter showering, dry, moisturize, and re-robe like a speed demon ASAP. Post-shower slippers or socks are MANDATORY; don't let all your newly acquired heat pour out your feet onto the cold floor.

Style Your Scarf
Everyone has a different hair situation, and depending on whether you have a shiny bald head or a forest of crazy hairs up there, you need to wrap your scarf differently. If you have hair, putting your scarf under it tends to help; if you're hairless, cover the vulnerable space between the end of your hat (which you are wearing!) and your collar with the scarf. THIS IS YOUR HAIR SUPPLEMENT. You will thank me later for this no matter what the mirror says!

Those Legs
Ask any athlete who wears cutoff running pants (like tight capris) what they hate about winter, and they will say "The two inches of freezing cold on my legs!" What they mean by this comment is that the two-inch space between their sock line and the bottom of their capris gets absolutely massacred by the cold and wind every time they venture outdoors. The solution? Um, sweat pants, anyone? If that's not your style, slip on leg warmers before and after working out to fill in the gaps between heat and heat.

If you're still freezing cold after all these auxiliary tips (auxiliary meaning you ought to already own a parka and smart cold weather shoes), comment for more ideas to keep you hot as ever in the coolest of places ;) .

Types of Collegiate Eaters

As a seasoned college first-year, my age-wisened collegiate experience has revealed to me a curious methodology for characterizing the bizarre habits of freshmen, called Eating in College. For your curious convience, I have catalogued the major types of collegiate eaters below. To parents reading this post, one of these selections is most likely how your child eats when not under your loving supervision.

The Childish Eater
This Eater was my first discovery upon entering college. The Childish Eater, liberated from the careful meal planning of his or her parental units, quickly reverts to his or her infantile eating habits. These toddler-tummied individuals tend to eat Froot Loops for breakfast, pizza for lunch, and more pizza or fish sticks for dinner. Dessert is ALWAYS chocolate chip cookies, and snacktime means lollipops or bubblegum.

The Secret Snacker
Either due to a constant appetite or constant access to unmonitored food sources, the Secret Snacker is always on the prowl for some sneaky noshing. This student (and yes, I admit I am occasionally this student) eats breakfast, lunch, and dinner...and a pre-breakfast snack, an after-breakfast snack, a pre-lunch snack, an afternoon snack, an after-dinner snack, and a midnight snack. Keep your eye open for mysteriously disappearing food; if you noticed that your cereal box is suddenly empty, or that your granola bars vanished overnight, or that four of the cookies your mother sent you have dissolved into devastated crumbs, you might very well have a Secret Snacker in your midst. This individual will either start to order pants one size up, or will soon take the first step to correcting his or her hungry habits: subbing in fruits and vegetables for fries or chips at dinner and lunch.

The Man of Many Meals
I have met several Men of Many Meals in college (the word "man" is included in the title because I have yet to meet any women who admit to this, but that DOES NOT mean they aren't out there), and their dietary habits descend from one of three sources: perpetual hunger for food, perpetual hunger for muscle, or perpetual hunger for helping their sports team win. Remember the string bean boys from high school who eat ridiculous piles of food and complain that they're still hungry? They don't go away in college. Their appetites just grow along with their height, and,  with my college's invention of Fourth Meal (a fourth official meal of the day that occurs between 9PM and midnight), Men of Many Meals often surface in the dining halls for breakfast, lunch, dinners 1 and 2, and fourth meal. Those with perpetual hunger for muscle tend to have meals of chicken breast and salad or broccoli approximately three to five times a day. I suppose the lack of fats in their diet doesn't help their bellies stay full for long. Finally, those with the hunger to win with their team: AKA football. I swear that the football team eats half of our school's food. The players, who attend, again, three to five meals a day, pile their trays high with chicken, and hamburgers, and salad, and fruits, and cake, and cookies, and pizza, and pasta, and, well, whatever else fits on the tray between three trips up to the buffet.

The Fake Eater
In college, it becomes more difficult to hide eating disorders or food allergies. After a while, it is simply too challenging to ignore the boy who is allergic to gluten, milk, red meat, and green vegetables, and the girl with an eating disorder. Hopefully, though, the Fake Eaters will learn to enjoy dining hall food before their four years are up.

The Homesick International Students
Several students in my dorm struck a new chord of sympathy from my heart when they wept and wailed over something that simply must be called home-cooked-food-sickness (homesickness, except with a desire for home-cooked food, instead of simply home). One boy went knocking on thirty different doors on his quest for rice, explaining that "I cannot consider my feast a meal unless it has RICE!". Students in some dorms even have special food lockers and professional kitchens, in which they whip up their secret homeland food specialties for a taste of the familiar. And, honestly, you've just got to love the collection of individuals who have Polish sausages, local beers, exotic fruits, and cupcake-shaped sprinkles shipped to their dorm rooms.