Stereotypes and Reflections

The other day I sat on my bathroom floor painting my nails. It was my day off from tennis, and I was using a half-read Economist as a shield for the floor, Skyping with a friend, waiting for a Family Guy episode to download on Hulu, sitting next to a Hello Kitty bath mat, and painting my nails. For me, this is not a surprising collage of items, activities, and interests. In fact, I was rather amused when I thought about the varied things that I like to do and the varied items I have accumulated. Here’s what I considered.

The Economist implies I am a geek.

The fact that it was my day off from tennis implies that I’m a jock.

The Skyping shows that I’m social and I like to talk to friends.

The Family Guy points to my sense of humor (and maybe my adoration of a certain football-headed baby).

The Hello Kitty bath mat implies, well, that I like Hello Kitty/ have liked it for a million years (?).

Taylor Swift and Lady Gaga lyrics were probably running through my head (they always are), making me someone who likes attention, dancing, and more attention.

The painting of my nails paints me as a girly girl.

Am I all of these things, or even any of them? It’s quite possible—but it’s also quite possible that I’m not, or that I’m any mix of the six, or the millions of other qualities I haven’t listed, or that I’m—yes, you might freak out—simply a mix of so many things that (here’s the gasp) they can’t exactly be defined.

If this is true, then why do we like to classify ourselves so much? If we can’t even identify with the entirety of a stereotype or the projected image of a certain type of person, why do we yearn to call ourselves one? Here’s an example: say that you want to be a surfer. You call yourself a surfer gal. You surf, you’re fit, you hit the beach all the time, and you even tan extremely nicely. But you don’t do drugs, you have an inexplicable interest in African history, and you’ve never missed an episode of Cupcake Wars. Clearly, you don’t quite fit the entire surfer-gal bill—you’re too varied. But we tone these varied parts of ourselves down to fit into a group or even to make friends. Why? In my opinion, a girl who loves to surf but isn’t stoned 24/7 and who has an interest that exists outside of the realm of H2O is a much more interesting person than the surfer gal who only likes to be on the water. I’m not saying that I have anything against surfers. I’m saying that even “surfers” aren’t just surfers. Just like I’m not just a geek, a jock, a humorist, a Hello Kitty fan, a music-maniac, a girly-girl, or a multi-tasker. I’m a bit of them all.

I think that we associate ourselves with boiled-down, “specialized” ideas and stereotypes because it’s much easier than reinventing an entire new category for ourselves—especially when that category is always changing! From my extemporaneous speaking experience, I know how difficult it can be to even invent a three-point solution to solving a global crisis; this is an exercise I go through several times a week. Imagine going through the same process—just substitute in identity—every time we thought about what we want or how we want to live our lives! Not only is it exhausting, but it can be demoralizing as well.

We think we fit in so much better by being classified. By being one thing and one thing only. But here’s my secret. I think it’s boring.

Boring is exhausting—and completely unnecessary. If we ease up just a little bit, the new freedom we give ourselves—the freedom not to be something but to be anything—the relief, the energy, and the pleasure that comes from it is infinitely rich and worth it.

So don’t be boring. I’m not boring—even if you think I am. I am varied. And the funniest part is that when I’m with boring people, I can’t help but wonder if they know how boring they are.

They are boring because they’ve boiled down their mien and their words and their clothing to mold into that mass-produced, dull, standard persona that we’ve accepted into our culture. You know them all. They are the geeks, the jocks, the socialistas, the humorists, the Hello Kitty fanatics, the music-maniacs, and the girly-girls. We’re all some mix of those qualities, but the boring ones try to make it seem like they’re just the one.

Here’s your secret: you aren’t boring.

Here’s everyone else’s secret: they’re afraid of the exhilarating, terrifying possibility of uncertainty in their identity—and they’ve turned to the boring, explained, well-versed, and expected classifications to give them a guiding path.

Here’s one more secret that I haven’t told anyone yet: if you let yourself go down this path, I can’t promise you’ll find that special combination of things that makes you you.

But I can promise that you will find something that’s real—even if it’s uncertainty. The best friendships we have transcend the bounds of any one category. Nothing, not even friendship, can last through the years without changing and being flexible because we change constantly. It might be too abstract for widespread appreciation, but I believe that we all have unlimited potential to look for our own selves and happinesses. To reverse an old saying, don’t be afraid to trade nothing for something.

Drink it up

We've all seen guys in muscle shirts chugging Muscle Milk, we've seen girls in high pony tails pounding down the Gatorade, and we've seen bikers in the Tour de France catch water bottles and Powerades and down them while riding their bicycles. Powerade, Gatorade, Muscle Milk, and H2O are so mainstream that we often forget that there are other drinks that can enhance our sports performance and expedite post-workout recovery. While the sugar-spiked sports drinks and protein-packed smoothies and mixes top the charts and can be seen on any tennis court, basketball court, or even swimming pool, we need to know that there are plenty of other options. Fortunately, for those of you who don't dig the orange-flavored electrolytes or artificial-vanilla of protein powder, there are many healthy, tasty, and easy ways to get your post-workout fix for fluid. 
Two of these strategies are probably twelve feet away from you right now--yes, I'm talking about ingredients that you most likely keep well-stocked in the fridge (I am taking a bit of a gamble by assuming that you're in the kitchen right now, but I figure it's a risk I'm willing to take :P  ). Your new favorite after-sports drinks are (drum-roll please) Orange Juice and Chocolate Milk.
I know. You probably feel like you've just been transported back to the third grade and are trying to pick from the drink cartons in the cafeteria (2% milk, chocolate milk, OJ, or water ?). But perhaps this is one of those times when we actually were doing things right when we were little--instead of overcomplicating with different ions and electrolytes, over-purchasing with deals of "Buy 6 get 1 free", and over-consuming because we feel that we need to enhance our muscles every time before, during, and after we work out. 

A beautiful picture of OJ in case you've never seen one...

The actual amount of sports drink that you need to ingest differs completely between person to person and from day to day, but it's important that you know these two super-easy super-wonderful choices that you can add to your arsenal.
OJ
Good ol' OJ is more or less an American household staple. We use it to jump-start our days, ward off colds, and stay healthy. A small glass of orange juice after working out helps restock your body's naturally-needed sugars and gives a few healthy carbs. Also, in the winter-spring season, the little bit of Vitamin C boost after working out helps keep your body strong, healthy, and replenished. OJ can also help with muscle cramps, and replenishes your store of necessary components of sugar after heavy sweating. (Make sure to try to get 100% juice, fresh-squeezed juice, or even an orange).

Chocolate Milk
Maybe as little kids we all had it right! Athletic research has shown that chocolate milk--for an athlete who's just had a grueling workout--can be more effective in replenishing protein, carbs, sugars, and even water content than sports drinks, plain milk, or even water! Milk hydrates, and helps restore the moisture and sugars lost in sweat to our bodies after sustained workout. However, we smart about your chocolate milk. Choose 2%, 1%, or fat free milk and attempt to find as healthy a chocolate sauce as possible (avoid high fructose corn syrup as much as you can). Also, although it may not seem like it, chocolate milk is a "big gun" in the sports drink world; AKA don't drink it (if your intent is to help your body as much as possible) you're doing a light workout--drink up the milk if you do conditioning, long distance running, a long tennis match, etc.
Funny how the best things for our body are the things we always have around, isn't it? Perhaps those GOT MILK? adds were on to something...

Do Actions Speak Louder Than Words? (Another morsel of my seminar paper)

            Do Actions Speak Louder Than Words?

           

            Do actions speak louder than words? Only if you haven’t been listening! Of course, it makes sense that if you’re taken by surprise and haven’t been paying any attention to the words coming out of peoples’ mouths, an action will speak louder to you than words—for it will be the only thing you ever notice. There are many things you shall miss if you are adamant about going through life with earmuffs on!

            Language isn’t there for everyone, but it is there if you listen and if you care. Marlowe exemplifies this idea; while acting every bit the classy detective, his precisely worded thoughts and personal values—he is inwardly shaken, for example, when he realizes he is not living in “a game for knights”—show his character more comprehensively than any solemn action could.

This is the power of language. While a word’s power depends on the word itself and how and why it’s used, language is so effective and important because it shows us things that we may not have understood if we hadn’t stopped and listened. Language can be gentle or harsh, witty or “yawn-inducing” (I believe this is referenced in Lucky Jim), or even good or bad depending on how it’s used (and, no, I’m not trying to illustrate the yawn-inducing properties here…). Language teaches us in so many ways things that actions cannot. A brief inventory of Prose’s arsenal:

·      It makes you listen

·      It makes you speak—no one else is saying it but you

·      It helps you create—you make the words, and put them together. Even if you don’t do it in a way that is considered “the best”, you did it in a way that’s true and real, even if (unfortunately, I must admit) you make the decision to lie, to condemn, to copy; this still shows something about you. And there’s almost no hiding it. (Honestly, just look at Falstaff! Even the physical appearance of his prose is large, growing, and fat!)

·      It lets you see your thoughts. It is rare that we get to see our actions, but language gives us the opportunity to hear our voices, and hear the emotion behind words that we throw at others ceaselessly. This is helpful for both a reader and a speaker of any prose. Language gives us a filter that, at the very least, helps us truly see the person we’re dealing with in the mirror.

Language also gives us power. And language is, truly, Marlowe’s forte in Raymond Chandler’s The Big Sleep. Marlowe has a quick head, quick reflexes, and an even quicker tongue, but he now walks the halls of literary fame because of the words he thinks but does not say. On one of the rare occasions when he spoke aloud his exact feelings with little reserve, it sounded foreign to him, but important all the same.

      “ ‘Well, you fooled him, Harry,’ I said out loud, in a voice that sounded queer to me. ‘You lied to him and you drank your cyanide like a little gentleman. You died like a poisoned rat, Harry, but you’re no rat to me’” (178).

            Marlowe is not an openly emotional character. Even seeing a man he respected laying dead on the floor in a stink of cyanide doesn’t weaken his reserve or change his mind about pursuing Canino, the new murderer. But Marlowe does allow himself one indulgence: he lets himself speak. There is nothing he can do—for he prefers the virtuous knight to the avenging murderer—but he can speak. And speak he does, even though Harry won’t ever hear him again from beyond the big sleep.

Marlowe separates his thoughts from his speech, but the words are always there, always talking. They show us the romantic drifter who speaks and dresses like the “well-dressed private detective ought to be”; the saviour who knows ‘trouble is worth a stare’ and hears the “nasty sound” of a scream through the stomping of “another army of sluggish minutes” dragging by in the wet night (17, 33, 32). But what of when there’s no one to hear? What speaks louder then? The thoughts—the words, and feelings that come out as words and fears and longings—are there always, and they only need the action for us to figure out that they’re there. I shall spare you the pain of going through the “I think, therefore I am” quote, but I shall make one last point before I complete this post.

Marlowe hasn’t much in the way of a personal life. He describes his apartment as “all [he] had in the way of a home”. He shares of the “few books,…chessmen, old letters, stuff like that.” He then says they’re “nothing” (158). Maybe they were. But they were all he had.

So in the end, it’s up to you what means more. It’s different for us all every day. Speak up, speak out, speak in, even, if you wish—just remember that what you say is powerful. You can often hurt more people with hard words than a hard first. And don’t forget to keep your eyes and ears open!

To read the other post about my seminar paper click here

She Set Fire to the Rain, Our Hearts, and the Record Books--Adele!

There’s nothing crueler in the world than looking at someone else’s hard-earned accomplishments and telling them that they’re undeserved—especially in a society where achievement is so prioritized. However, we also have to qualify achievements; we must ask ourselves if someone truly deserves flattery, fanfare, or even the puppy-love adoration that comes when we throw ourselves at someone’s idolized and airbrushed feet.

In light of challenging the validity of accomplishments, the results of Sunday’s Grammys have been questioned and incurred a heady amount of criticism; everyone wants to know: how did Adele win six times?? The answer is simple: she put it all out there.

Adele is a fantastic woman and an admirable role model for people all over the world. Although she’s avoided paparazzi as much as she can (she recently purchased a huge estate in England for the sole reason that the grounds are so large that paparazzi can’t see her from the fence-lines), the power of Adele’s voice, personality, and refreshing honesty is nearly tangible. Adele deserved those awards for her album, record, and single Rolling in the Deep because she put every ounce of herself out there in her music. After all, who of us can say that we sang until our voice failed? Who of us can say that we used the destructive anger of a broken heart to make some of the most empowering and forceful music of the year? Who of us has the boldness to stand out from the crowd despite chronic stage fright and insecurities—and sing? Perhaps some of us can. But few of us do. So how is anyone justified in accusing Adele of unfair success this year?

We seem almost addicted to measuring our successes and achievements. But why do we value these things when being the best is not even the motivation for most successes? Adele wrote her album Rolling in the Deep to help her overcome a breakup. She wrote it to help heal herself in the most personal and expressive way she could, and yet people criticize this amazing 23-year-old for snatching away too many #1 titles and even for being too pudgy for success! Excuse me, Karl Lagerfeld, but who in your field has been lauded as a safe, confident, and positive influence on young women? Aside from Tyra Banks, little to no one in the past two decades. But Adele has more than a paper-thin model could ever offer up between weak, malnourished limbs; she has a strong voice and a real message to others that resonates in hearts and souls around the world. Even SNL joined the parade of admirers and filmed a skit about how we all cry, laugh, and sing along with this sincere and expressive singer.

Adele did a fantastic job singing at the Grammy’s, and on 60 Minutes right before the Grammy’s program aired, she did an interview with the show and even sang a cappella for a few bars of Someone Like You. She has one of the fullest, richest voices I’ve ever heard, and the fact that she uses that voice to sing about real, non-shallow things adds to her accomplishment and talent as a professional artist. But what really got me about Adele is her voice. She sang her heart out in her songs, career, and album, and she kept up with it even as she adjusted to a life of fame and limelight. Adele had a message for the world, and she sang it with everything she’s got.

Maybe she’s not your style. Maybe you don’t care for her hourglass shape or her forceful, insistent music. Maybe you don’t even like music, or maybe you consider British people anathema, period (I hope you don’t). But don’t be the person who can’t find it in him or herself to respect someone who wears her heart on her sleeve, who isn’t afraid to share her concerns and experience, and who is persistent and creative enough to make this combination of qualities into a global success story. We all have our preferences and aspirations. Perhaps this time, instead of flipping open OK! or People magazine and turning straight to the 100 pound, 5 foot 8, airbrushed model who’s smiling with all her teeth at the camera in an attempt to look sincerely thin and carefree, we’ll all open the page to see Adele—a woman who’s confident, happy, and blunt about it all.

You Get Three Wishes. Use Them Wisely!

You get Three Wishes
What do you Wish for?

Don’t worry dear reader—I know that this is a daunting question, and you are probably hyperventilating right now trying to pick the three exact things that you wish for before the chance is gone. Allow me to help you by setting some guidelines. You may not wish for World Peace, No Hunger, No Nukes, or No Taxes (because even a fairy can’t stop all three of those in one sitting, so we have to be fair). You must wish for something practical, useful, fun, and clever.

Now you’re out of hints. You must ask for:

1.     A Belt

2.     Q tips (who knew they were so easy to spell?)

3.     A nail polish pen

The Belt

This isn't my belt, but it's H&M, and a similar style. See? Pure magic. :)

During holiday shopping with my cousin, I made one of the best buys of the year. Not only was my purchase on sale and super cute—it’s super useful and wearable too! I purchased an H&M elastic belt with a big black sheer bow on the front and a little hook on the back. Although today’s the first day I’ve given this accessory a try, I already adore it, and I warn you all: I shall be wearing it a lot in the near future, I love it so much! I bought this belt because it was black, neutral, cute, and could go with just about anything. Today I paired it with a floral sweater-material dress, black tights/leggings, and boots. Needless to say I haven’t been so comfortable in a week. The hooks on the back have three sizes depending on the width of your waist, and the elasticity makes it more or less fit all. I recommend an elastic belt with a feminine or flouncy detail for anyone who is feeling the strain of these gloomy winter months and is yearning for a more feminine outfit that still fits the “comfortable, warm, and colorful” bill. This is it! Make The Belt the first thing on your wish list and I promise it’ll accentuate your waist, add a perk to your sweaters, shirts, tanks, plaids, and dresses, and make your outfit fabulous in just the five seconds it takes to hook it on and get it set!

However, true to H&M legacy, the belt I purchased is no longer available. They do have this cute buckle/elastic belt, and other stores will probably have similar styles as well.

The Q Tip

The Q Tip is my #1 True Tip. They are every girl’s (and possibly guy’s) best friend when getting ready in the morning. Q tip’s are perfect for getting rid of smeared eye makeup, perfectly smudging eye makeup that is not smudged enough, correcting our early-morning failed attempts at presentable eyeliner, and erasing clumped, smudged, smeared, or accidentally rubbed-beneath-the-eyes mascara. Q Tips fit in any purse, bag, or even pocket! Plus, they’re cheap, come in mass packages, and are always clean and ready to use. Simply swab your makeup remover (or even water in dire circumstances) with a tip, sweep it in a half-moon shape under your eyes to ensure that you don’t accentuate any dark circles with yesterday’s stubborn mascara, and then brush it again with the dry side to clear off any moisture. And Voila! Vous êtes préte! You’re all set!

This adorable little contraption can help keep your Q Tip secret safe from prying eyes and dust. 

The Nail Pen

This is the newest phase of the nail polish craze that hit last year! Check out Sephora’s nail design pen by OPI; it’s fresh, fun, and fabulous. Just paint your nails any color and pick out a nail pen that will compliment, accent, or contrast with it! Once you practice a bit, you’ll soon have flowers, hearts, lines, stripes, peace signs, dots, bunnies, anything that you want on your nails! Or, if you prefer more serious styles, go for the gold or white nail design pens, paint your fingernails a pale pink, and draw on white or gold tips for a fun new French manicure. Looking down at my (slightly chipped, I must admit) nails, I see stripes, waves, lines, a peace sign, three hearts, and more lines—I haven’t had the desire to take them off because they are way too fun and way too cool. So treat yourself to these nail pens; they might be pricier than a bottle of polish, but they pay for it twenty times over with your newly discovered artistic fervor and your deeply fashionable and styled nails. Happy nail penning!

Sephora's sleek new nail design pen.

So clearly you can see how these are the three greatest wishes that can be granted to us. A belt that flatters your body, adds fun to your winter wardrobe, and is comfortable? Marvelous! A commonplace hygiene utensil as your secret weapon against the makeup mirror? Incredible! A fun-colored pen designed for the square centimeter of space that is your nail? Pure genius! This sure seems like a fairytale because it’s not everyday you get a fabulous cache like that! J

Christian Louboutin, You are Fabulous

The Picky Lady’s Perfect Shoe List

The Criteria: the shoe must be…

·      cute

·      flattering

·      able to match with at least three things in my closet

·      fun

·      justifiably priced

·      flirty/sophisticated

·      SPECIAL

·      Comfortable

·      Something I’ll love for a long time

So here’s where my latest discovery comes in. I wrote about some off the charts, crazy, fun shoes last year—and these new ones are more than qualified to head up the ranks! Thank goodness for the New York Times or just think where this discovery would be (nowhere).  My mom and I were going through the Sunday paper when our jaws dropped simultaneously and we probably looked like that scene in a movie when the prince spontaneously drops to one knee and asks a maid to marry him. We were shocked, excited, panicked, and amazed. But no handsome youth had just walked through the back door. We’d turned the page to a full-spread add for a Christian Louboutin shoe. As I’m typing this right now, I must admit that I’m appalled at one thing: apparently “Louboutin” is not considered a correctly spelled word. Well shame on you, autocorrect! It is one of the most justified words in the world.

This, my fellow shoe-lovers, is called the Loubi Zeppa Crisscross Wedge. This Christian Louboutin shoe is a platform heel decorated in fun, spirited cut-out patches. These patches are multicolored stars, kisses, letters, and of course little badges that say Christian and Louboutin. They’re a special limited edition shoe that was only sold at Bergdorf Goodman’s store in NYC , and Mr. Louboutin even dropped in for three hours on Tuesday, January 31! To spare you the pain any longer, here is a photograph of these wonderful shoes.

As you can see, these shoes are the definition of FABULOUS. And in comparison with the ideal shoe list, they are:

Cute ✔

Flattering ✔

Totally match-able  ✔

Fun ✔

Flirty AND sophisticated ✔✔

So special I can’t even say ✔

Something that’ll be adored for a very long time ✔

The colors are great, and—since it is an irresistible law of nature—these shoes will match with tons of things in nearly everyone’s closet because we all own, between our skirts, shirts, pants, dresses, and leggings, something black, something red, and something that’s probably either yellow, gold, or blue. Therefore, these genius-created shoes will match to your closet; no matter how inspired you may be to go out and buy expensive accoutrements to match these heels, just remember that  they were made to match  you.

The cuteness and fun-ness of the Loubi Zeppa Crisscross Wedge are pretty much self-explanatory, but I shall add one thing. Obviously, someone had fun designing these shoes. On a purely rational level, no one can actually incorporate shoes, stars, hearts, cursive, rhinestones, and Christian Louboutin without having a good time (at least I know that for me this holds true!).

I love them!!!

So these shoes are fabulous.

But, being practical, I will share some sadder stats with you before I break your heart with platform heels.

These wedge heels are 5 ½ inches high

These shoes are limited edition

They cost $1,095.00!

So that’s what a bank account looks like in a shoebox, ladies and gentlemen. If you’re ever doubting the security of keeping money in our economic-crisis ridden banks, then feel free to go buy these $1,095 shoes. With the dollar as it is today, it’s actually possible that these shoes could be a prudent investment one day in the future. Just think: what socialite in 5 years wouldn’t want a never-before-worn Limited Edition Christian Louboutin wedge heel from the year that the world was supposed to end? So there you go—a bank account in a box!

And, just saying, who wouldn’t want to be in THESE in 2012?

For more drooling at gorgeous shoes, visit:   http://www.bergdorfgoodman.com/store/catalog/templates/silo.jhtml?itemId=cat200648&parentId=cat000000&siloId=cat200648&navid=topNavShoeSalon    or 

http://www.christianlouboutin.com/#/home

Ecollars: the Mystery of Doggy Fashion

We've all seen the sad but adorable picture of a dog wearing a big white cone. It's the kind of thing that makes us pity the cute little puppy, but also brings laughter to our lips when we see how ridiculously puzzled and flustered our dogs seem when they have a bulky halo of white plastic surrounding their faces.
This is a look that my dog Beau just started debuting again. And though it seems cute, I also am quite glum about seeing this doggy fashion coming back into his wardrobe--because he has to go to the vet. :(  Beau will probably be fine, fortunately. But on a lighter note, two good things did come from our impromptu rushed visit to the vet at 9 o'clock at last: microscopes and ecollars.
The Microscope: I summoned up all of my frazzled courage and asked the vet if I could see the sample he'd taken from Beau's skin under the microscope. Fascinating!

                      Fashion Evolution:

This transitions into...

This!

The Ecollar: The official name of the collars we force around our dogs' necks so that they don't irritate their scabs and wounds. This name comes from the name Elizabethan collars, which were notoriously huge, bulky, and white. So next time that your puppy unfortunately runs into medical issues, at least you shall know that he'll be in his court best, dressed up in high Renaissance fashion to impress the doggy royalty and nobles.
Send your thoughts and best wishes Beau's way so that he gets better soon!
We love you, Beau <3